You could be California Republican and staunch upholder of family values, Michael Duvall. He admitted into a hot mic having an affair behind the back of the lobbyist he was having an affair with.
Click here for hilarity.
(Also, gentlemen, taking your age, dividing it in half and adding seven years gives you a good guide for the age of gal you can run around with and not look like a damn fool. So, if you're 50, don't go younger than 32. That Duvall was using the guideline the other way? Just adds proof to his douchtasticness.)