Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Congress / Crazy Crap / Hicks From the Sticks / Kotz / Law and Order / Politics Manly Zach Wamp Confronts Obama at the Tennessee State Line
Posted by Pete Kotz on Wed, Aug 5, 2009 at 5:56 AM
Two years earlier, Governor Zach Wamp declared, "People have asked me what we'd do if President Barack Obama issued an executive order to take firearms away from the people. I'll tell you what we'd do. We will meet him at the state line!" Now he's making good on his word, waiting for Obama at the Virginia border.
Gubernatorial aide Skippy: "Jeepers, governor, are you sure we have to do this? It seems kind of weird just standing along the road waiting for Obama to show up."
Wamp: "Zach Wamp has vowed to defend the sovereignty of the great state of Tennessee. And by God, that's exactly what Zach Wamp intends to do."
Skippy: "But what if he actually shows up? You're not really going to shoot the president, are you?"
Wamp: "Zach Wamp hopes that it doesn't come to that, Skippy. But if it does, Zach Wamp is prepared to die a brave and glorious death to defend our Second Amendment rights."
Skippy: "You do know that's only a BB gun, don't you? Your aides decided you'd be less likely to hurt yourself."
Wamp: "Hmmm, Zach Wamp thought those bullets looked a little small. But never mind. The heathen Obama is no match for Zach Wamp, even if he's backed by an entire Panzer division..."
Skippy: "Sir, I think it's somewhat unlikely that the president will be accompanied by German tanks from World War II. Besides, how do you know he's coming? I mean, did he say he was going to show up today, on this very road?"
Wamp: "The socialist libtard won't take Zach Wamp's calls. But Zach Wamp knows he'll be here, because that's what always happens in a showdown between good and evil. They meet at the state line, there's a brief exchange of manly quips, Zach Wamp gets winged in the shoulder, then he guns Hussein Obama down in an exhibition of courage and marksmanship. Technically, a virtuous maiden should then rush to Zach Wamp's side. But I told McKensie not to come because I didn't want my wife finding out about her on the news tonight."
Skippy: "Actually, sir, we decided not to alert the media. We thought it might be a little weird, you know, two guys standing by the road with BB guns. Ever since you announced that you'd invade Mexico, your approval ratings haven't broken double digits. Frankly, sir, people are a little worried."
Wamp: "Worried about what? That Zach Wamp, governor and patriot, has decided to take matters into his own hands in a gallant display of rugged individualism? How do you work this thing anyway?"
Skippy: "Governor, I believe it's ill-advised to clean your ears with the barrel. Governor... Governor! Oh shit, I'll call an ambulance."
Comments (3)
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Stupid parody. As a Nashville resident and proud CHRISTIAN Tennessean who is a strict Constitutionalist, I found Zach's remarks about meeting Obama at the state line INSPIRING AND COMFORTING. At least TN won't go down without an all-out fight against the globalists and their NEW WORLD ORDER. Damn the torpedoes. Liberty or death.
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now I know I want to campain against this wamp guy.... this is pure bunk and a sad ideal for an article for the Nashville scene !! Oh wait!! this IS showing just HOW stupid this man Wamp IS....
Okay, this piece is pretty juvenile and the Nashville Scene's continuing irrational anti-gun rants are very tiresome. But, I do agree with the only point I could take away from reading it - Wamp is a political fire-breather (bomb thrower, pot stirrer, whatever descriptive phrase you want). His ultra right stance is just as much a turn off to thoughful voters as a leftie like, say, Jerry Brown. I just hope we can elect a good manager like Bredesen has been (and no, I haven't agreed with him on everything), and I'm not thinking of McWherter when I say that.
