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Former senator/failed presidential candidate Fred Thompson has emerged from exile, recasting himself as a full-on whackjob to win this week's Kook Power Rankings:1. Fred Thompson:
It's the latest rage in right-wing conspiracies. A federal measure designed to help elderly people write living wills is being recast as a government drive to kill old people!
And Thompson, who surely knows better, is among those pushing the theory! Now he's probably just grabbing for ratings in the ever-crowded Victim Radio genre. But how's he supposed to be a believable New York DA if he's talking like some guy who lives under the bridge?
2. Rep. Debra Maggart: Following the Paul Stanley Pervert Scandal, the Hendersonville Republican decided to curb illicit behavior on Capitol Hill, which often resembles a gay bath house on Breeder Night. But instead of saying to her colleagues,
"Hey, what's with the perv action, you lecherous old degenerates?" she wants to create a stricter screening process for interns
. After all, we can't expect those horny evangelicals to resist temptation, can we? The responsibility clearer lies with all those little school girls. 3. Robin Smith:
The former GOP state chair turned attempted congresswoman has been in populist mode of late, railing against "the big companies getting bailouts."
But Smith, a master of idle sloganeering on par with Sarah Palin, has been conspicuously silent on the insurance industry bailout in the health care negotiations, where nearly everyone in Tennessee's congressional delegation -- Republican and Democrat alike -- is siding with insurers over their constituents. In related news, Smith also roots for the house in blackjack.4. Paul Stanley:
Add "Huge Candy-Ass" to his previous titles of Wife Beater, Adulterer, and Hypocrite. Because when Paul Stanley goes down, he's not going with class. That's why he's been doing his best to paint his former mistress, McKensie Morrison, as an evil blackmailer
. Though the TBI says she's not under investigation, in Stanley's world, the women and children are always sacrificed first.