Thursday, July 30, 2009

Reforms on the Way After Sex Scandal: Finding a Higher Class of Interns

Posted By on Thu, Jul 30, 2009 at 5:12 AM

click to enlarge How did this straight-A student ever make it into the intern program?
  • How did this straight-A student ever make it into the intern program?
Now that the deplorable smirky little twit Paul Stanley has departed in ignominy, lawmakers are talking about the need to make changes so this kind of scandal never happens again. What about enacting tough new ethics rules to punish the many lecherous creeps (aka representatives and senators) who are on 24/7 prowl for strange sex around the Capitol? Oh no, here's a better idea: Let's recruit a better class of interns! According to this story, lawmakers are talking--not about policing themselves--but about developing a stricter screening process to prevent wily women like McKensie Morrison from entering the program. Let's see, how should we word the intern application? "The qualified candidate will have sex upon demand with legislators and won't cause embarrassment afterward." Put that right at the top so it's clear. And here's a sample question: "Please answer yes or no. Do you now associate or have you ever associated with anyone who might attempt to make trouble for a legislator if that legislator groped you and/or stuck his tongue down your throat in a public place and/or had sex with you and/or took photographs of you in compromising positions?" Yes, that should take care of it. All this is Morrison's fault, you know. That's apparently the view of many of the egotistical hillbillies in the legislature. They're taking their cue from Stanley, of all people, who seems upset mainly because his long-running Nashville frat party has ended prematurely. When he talked to reporters this week, he never once apologized to Morrison's parents for betraying their trust. Instead, he said he wants authorities to indict their daughter. "I think at the end of the day, those involved in this crime against me will receive their due -- but in the meantime the best thing I can do is handle my personal affairs," said Stanley, as self-righteously smug as ever. Do we need to state the obvious at this point? They just don't get it.

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