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It is well-known that the last few pages of the Nashville Scene
are bastions of purity and generalized wholesomeness. You won't, for instance, find scintillating pictures of lingerie-clad, buxom blonds, or, for that matter, "twinks" with washboard abs.
Ok, so that's not really true. At all. But they simply want to engage you in intelligent conversation. Seriously.
In fact, we're on such an elevated moral pedestal that a massage therapist who advertises with us stresses that said services are "NON-EROTIC." But that's not entirely
accurate. At least that's what the police are saying.
Veronica Wright, 61, placed the ad to the right in this week's edition of the Scene. Metro Nashville Police are saying the "Complete Stress Relief" advertised didn't mean only deep-tissue massage. Wright was arrested Tuesday and charged with allegedly promoting prostitution.
What follows is perhaps the most entertaining police affidavit I've ever had the pleasure of reading:
"Once inside, she directed him to a rear room where a massage table was. She then requested for the (Confidential Informant) to get undressed and he got naked. The defendant then began to perform a massage on the CI and she then asked him if he wanted a "hand-release" (manual masturbation) for an additional $100, and without saying anything she began to perform an act of manual masturbation on the CI. Your affiant and other officers were able to listen to the conversation of the CI and those around the CI as they took place live due to a transmitter the CI had in his possession."
readers, don't burn up the police lines all at once with inquiries like, "How does one go about becoming a CI?" They have drunks to cuff.
And don't call that number above, 'cause Pith is going to go out on a limb and say she probably can't return your call. For now, anyway.