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Monday, July 13, 2009

Law and Order / Woods Guns-In-Bars Law Clears First Court Test

Posted by Jeff Woods on Mon, Jul 13, 2009 at 3:59 PM

click to enlarge oie_davidson.jpg
Davidson County Chancellor Claudia Bonnyman refused today to stop Tennessee's guns-in-bars law from taking effect tomorrow. But she did offer hope to the lawsuit's plaintiffs that she might strike down the law after a hearing on the merits of their case. The plaintiffs, mostly restaurant owners and workers, threw a clusterfluff of absurd arguments at the judge. Among them: The law's a public nuisance because it'll spark Wild West-style gunfights, and restaurants will violate OSHA regulations because flying bullets will constitute one helluva of an unsafe workplace. "We threw all the arrows in our quiver," attorney David Randolph Smith admitted. But there was one argument that Bonnyman liked, and it's deliciously devious. Here the plaintiffs pretended to care whether the state's 200,000 handgun carry permit holders are subjected to unfair prosecutions. The law allows loaded weapons only in establishments whose principal business is the sale of food. Gun proponents love this provision, saying it means the law doesn't actually allow guns in bars but only in restaurants that happen to serve alcohol. It helps them seem more reasonable. But they make that claim with a wink and a nod because everyone knows that, as a practical matter, it's impossible to tell the difference. The law's opponents cleverly turned the provision against the gun nuts. If no one can tell which is which, then how will all our law-abiding citizen gunmen know when they're breaking the law by waltzing into a bar with a loaded weapon? That makes the law unconstitutionally vague, the plaintiffs contended. They even corralled four handgun carry permit holders to join the lawsuit. "Perhaps O'Charley's would be OK, but not Tootsie's. How do we know?" Smith told the judge. "There is an argument to be made that the law is unconstitutional for vagueness," Bonnyman said. "It deserves a hearing on its merits. ... That argument does have merit." Today's hearing attracted an overflow crowd of spectators. It was like the O.J. trial, with reporters crowded into unused courtrooms to watch the proceedings on television. Beefy men wearing gun nut T-shirts prowled the courthouse giving everyone the stink eye. The attorneys agreed to hold another hearing within three months. Pith hereby predicts that Bonnyman, a liberal Democrat, will declare this law unconstitutional at that time. If she does, the legislature can fix it next session by letting gunmen go into any establishment that serves alcohol, bar or restaurant.

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Good to see the gunaphobes get their first round of smackdowns. I did overhear this gem:
"If our team was Public Enemy, I would be Flavor Flav."- Adam Dread

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Posted by Kevin on July 13, 2009 at 6:19 PM

Hey daddy, are we going snipe hunting again this weekend?

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Posted by Kevin Jr. on July 13, 2009 at 7:22 PM

I know it kinda looks like a Courthouse, but that pic is of the War Memorial Bldg. Weak.

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Posted by Anon on July 13, 2009 at 7:22 PM

Thanks for pointing that out, Anon. I fixed it.

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Posted by Woods on July 13, 2009 at 7:29 PM

Sweet! Thanks.

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Posted by Anon on July 13, 2009 at 7:40 PM

Kevin Jr. says:
Hey daddy, are we going snipe hunting again this weekend?
Posted On: Monday, Jul. 13 2009 @ 7:22PM
- The fact that you think that is even slightly humorous is actually more funny than the witless comment itself.

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Posted by Kevin on July 13, 2009 at 8:20 PM

I wasn't trying to be funny daddy. I was just asking. I would rather us go to Opry Mills and play that game where we guess who the gunaphobic libtards are. Of course, my daddy is the smartest guy in the whole universe and has noticed that all the ones he picks out as probably libtards end up at Banana Republic, while all the manly gun lovers go to Pro Bass Warehouse. Of course, Pro Bass is exactly one hundred times the size of Banana Republic, so there you go. I bet Woods shops at BR. Ha, ha, ha.

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Posted by Kevin Jr. on July 13, 2009 at 8:53 PM

Daddy...quit f@cking around on the internet and get back to writing more material for Adam Dread's standup routine. Baby's gotta eat...

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Posted by Retard Jr... on July 13, 2009 at 9:21 PM
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