Thursday, July 9, 2009
Media / Silverman / Sports The McNair Legacy Hubbub: Does It Have to Be Black-and-White?
Posted by Jack Silverman on Thu, Jul 9, 2009 at 8:33 AM
"It's a moral dilemma in Nashville, a town that worships its sports heroes and believed, for the better part of 10 years, that Steve McNair was its most perfect role model: How do you mourn a man whose imperfections were exposed in his shocking death?"It reminded me of a conversation I had Monday night. A friend of mine expressed disgust that McNair was being deified. The adultery was bad enough, he felt, but with a 20-year-old woman? I asked if it would have been less irksome to him if it had been a 35-year-old woman. He seemed to indicate that yes, it might have been less unseemly. Which got me thinking about a lot of things. Does the age matter at all? She wasn't a minor, and McNair himself was 36. It's not exactly an age difference that turns heads. And if there had been no murder, but it had been revealed that McNair had an affair, would that have been equally scandalous? And do the circumstances of his death automatically tarnish his significant accomplishments on and off the field? Journalists love a black-and-white angle--and "will he be remembered as an adulterer or an NFL star?" provides a jumping-off point. Ultimately, though, don't most people have a nuanced enough comprehension of life's trials and temptations to see him for what he was: A great football player and community leader who made some bad decisions? What about Jim Brown? Brown was arrested multiple times for assault and domestic abuse, including throwing his girlfriend off a balcony. (The woman refused to name Brown as her assailant, and the charge of assault with intent to murder was dropped.) In 1999, Brown was convicted of smashing the window of his 25-year-old wife Monique's car, though he was acquitted of making terrorist threats against her. Brown was 63 at the time. Was the age of his wife a topic of controversy? Isn't violence against women a far more unforgivable transgression than cheating on your wife? Whether you answer yes or no, Brown is mostly hailed as the greatest running back of all time, and his misdeeds are typically but a footnote in his story. Of course, Jim Brown is still alive, and his misdeeds won't be forever entangled with an untimely demise. And his status as an NFL superstar is far less debatable. And look at Michael Jackson. Watching yesterday's TV coverage, you'd think the pope had died, with nary a mention of the scandals and allegations of inappropriate behavior that hounded him for years. Did Bill Clinton's antics make him a pariah? Well, maybe to some who leaned to the right politically, but he's still a beloved political figure to millions of Americans. Of course, he didn't die before he had a chance to apologize. To me, Steve McNair's legacy is simple. He wasn't a saint. He wasn't a slimeball. He had a successful career and was a charitable community member, a humble guy and an adulterer, like a lot of other star athletes and celebrities. That his girlfriend decided to kill him doesn't change any of that.
Comments (10)
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Depends on if it were your daughter,your son, your brother/sister, your husband, your father or your friend. Men will be men and boys will boys doesn't diminish the hurt and disappointment. Many men,even in his position, are loyal, loving family men and community members. It's not an either/or dilemma but it's just profoundly sad.
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Why does everyone seem to refer to Kazemi as McNair's "girlfriend"? When you're married, the other woman is your mistress, is she not?
If one believes that a person should be remembered for the mistakes or sins (alleged or proven) they have committed, than one must also be willing to be remembered in the same way.
I have long said that all my heros have feet of clay because no one I admire is perfect.
They all have flaws.
Steve McNair was one of the toughest quarterbacks out there, playing week after week while injured and always did his level best to march the team down the field to score. He also did a lot of charity work especially for kids and when the tornado hit East Nashville he manned a chain saw while many of his team mates stood around as if it was a photo op. When Katrina hit once again Steve rallied donations and sent them South.
Like everyone else he was flawed but his flaws do not negate the good he did just like the good he did does not negate his flaws. Humanity is way to complex for that.
I will always admire the good he did while also mourning his death and how it came to pass.
The truth of his personal life does not negate his professional accomplishments nor his good works, but they certainly diminish his legacy.
If he had just had an affair, that's obviously Not Right but a common enough weakness, especially among powerful/successful men. Each aspect of this story knocks him down a notch, though. (1) Yes, she was only 20. Technically he was old enough to be her father. Again, it's pretty damn common for men to want very young women, but to me it's a sign of immaturity and lack of impulse control. (2) He not only had an affair with her, she obviously believed he was going to leave his wife to be with her, to the point where she was selling her stuff to move in with him. That level of deception on his part is what I find most offensive. Again, not uncommon, but a sleazy way to act. (3) It hasn't been independently verified that I've seen, but she believed that he was catting around with a THIRD woman.
I do believe that men (and women) can commit adultery but otherwise be "good" people. The details with McNair, though, make it difficult to do so.
P.S. I agree that the use of the term "girlfriend" is not appropriate, but I can give it a pass. What I find DEFINITELY inappropriate is that the media continue to say that they were "dating." NO. Married people do not "date."
It never ceases to amaze me how people like our lamentably late quarterback become lionized as super-human specimens. And how shocking it seems to be when they get caught covered with shit resulting from their own unseemly behavior. When, really, all that has happened is that the reality of their own lusty human-ness has been revealed for the world to see.
Okay. Steve could run, throw and persist even though he hurt. Big deal, cause he none-the-less was an unconscionable husband and father. As a role model outside the football stadium he sucked. So does Jim Brown. He's a damn thug even though he could run with the football better than almost anybody. Bill Clinton's sociopathic disregard for basic honesty was disgusting even though he was so good looking and cared so much. His lusty inability to keep it bent and zippered exposed him good and proper. And Michael Jackson? Just exactly what is there to admire a child molester for? Then there is poor little Sohel. A nubile twenty year old, she probably buggered Steve cross-eyed. Nothing super-human about that. The working girls do it as matter of course. How about Michael Phelps and his bong? Or Barry Bonds and the steroids? On and on.
The long and short of it is that we humans will, when the lusts kick in, behave like----well, human beings. And outside of unusual talents and skills, the stars are just like everybody else. So, lament their loss. But don't bother me with things like bullshit Congressional resolutions of grief at their passing.
Being a great football player has nothing to do with someones personal morality and integrity. He will be remembered as a great football player who was a horrible husband and father. Can't you remember him as both? So often successful people are so worshiped that folks see their professional achievements as a sign of them being a good person. We worship money and success, and only when those are absent do we condemn morally.
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