Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Hargrove / Sports SI on McNair: Should we be surprised when role models fall?
Posted by Brantley Hargrove on Tue, Jul 7, 2009 at 6:00 AM
Don Banks asks the question: Should we be? Do we really know any of our stars, be they actors, professional athletes or musicians? Should we be surprised when they fall short of the cultivated image we form during post-game wrap-ups that is more mythology than reality?
McNair was an amazing athlete and, by all accounts, a good teammate -- a role model for many. As such, his apparent failures as a husband seem all the more jarring.
"Maybe all we know is McNair's murder reminds us once again not to make the mistake of presuming we know the athletes we watch and follow. The public image is not neccesarily the private reality. The hard-earned reputation may not be backed up by all their words and deeds. Steve McNair dying is a very sad story, and that's the only conclusion that seems beyond dispute."
Comments (3)
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The suggestion here is that the public image didn't square with the private reality. And the problem with that is that we DID know McNair. We didn't know ALL about him. But we knew him. He was a very public figure. We saw him at restaurants and talked to him. We saw him with his kids at our own kids' soccer games. The public image was not a fake, though, like all of us, McNair's life was much more complex than his public image.
Unfortunately, we tend to want to see people in black and white, hero or villain, instead of acknowledging the sometimes conflicting complexities that exist in the same person. McNair is no different than our next-door neighbors, or the people we go to church with, or anyone else. Even people we genuinely know have sides we seldom or never see.
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I was so saddened by these deaths. So many things were wrong about the circumstances; Steve's approach to his marriage, the willingness of the young woman to date a married man, and the enabling actions of both of their friends. All of this led to tragedy. None of it should diminish the good things he did. Nor should we varnish over the truth; McNair was not faithful. This can be a huge lesson for his community of fans; be faithful, because unfaithfulness has severe consequences. Rarely this horrific, but lives are always devastated by the lack of honor, dignity, and the betrayal of trust. We owe each other more than this and can learn from this awful event. I pray for his widow and his children; I know what it is to grow up without a father due to unfaithfulness.
I will remember Steve McNair as the big-hearted guy from Mississippi who loved the game of football, who loved the city of Nashville and had the heart of a champion. I don't know why it is that when famous people, mostly men, when found to be adulterers, that negates any positive thing ever accomplished in their lives. I think of Bill Clinton at a time like this. He was one of our best presidents, but he will always be viewed by a large segment of Americans as a cheater first. Maybe that's the price, but I feel it's too high a price. People cheat, not all of them, but the majority do. Monogamy does not come easily for our species. It doesn't have to define an entire life spent trying to do good in the world. I refuse to let this define the man who lived among us as a hero for so long. Rest in peace Steve...you are loved.
