Monday, July 6, 2009
Crazy Crap / Daily Diversion / Media / Silverman Douchebag Alert: Perez Hilton Disses Nashville, Alan Jackson
Posted by Jack Silverman on Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 8:01 AM
We'd stay put in that mansion of yours, Alan, because we reckon ain't nobody going to give you one-tenth of that price in this economy!"Reckon"? (LOL!) "Ain't nobody"? (ROFLMFAO!) What an original conceit, Perez! Got us! Good one, buddy! To paraphrase an old Seinfeld episode, it's not that Hilton's comments offend us Southerners--they offend us as comedians. Sure, in the douchebag pantheon, Hilton is fairly innocuous. He's no match for Kim Jong-il or Josef Fritzl, for instance. Still, in the subcategory "Douchebags Who Haven't Killed or Tortured Anyone," he's a top contender. Although he does deserve credit for breaking the news of Fidel Castro's death. Oh wait, he's not dead. Damn, I wish we could break stories with little certainty of their veracity. (There's a hanging curveball over the plate for all you trolls and wingnuts.) And Hilton is still reeling from his all-time douchebaggiest moment (and that's saying a lot)--suggesting that Michael Jackson's cardiac arrest was a stunt so the singer could bail on his comeback tour. Hilton lost 800,000 Twitter followers in the ensuing controversy, which just goes to show that even fans of talentless bottom-feeders have their standards. Next week on perezhilton.com: Alan and Michael Jackson were long lost half-brothers, sons of rockabilly pioneer Wanda Jackson.
Comments (21)
Showing 1-21 of 21
I have no idea who this guy is, and I'm feeling pretty good about that right now.
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I have no idea who this guy is, and I'm feeling pretty good about that right now.
Let him perpetuate the stereotype of us as illiterate, inbred, barefoot, backwards yahoos. Spread the word far and wide. It might help prevent assholes like him from moving here.
Chris, you aren't missing much. This dude disses celebrities and then fights to be a recognized as a celebrity.
Don't really know who you associate with in these sweaty southern climes, but I have heard both "reckon" and "ain't nobody" used in conversation more than once in the past week. Don't forget y'alls (plural) and "do whut?" hundreds of times too.
The local vernacular is and always has been an object of derision. I'll fucking take a youse' to a y'all any day.
38 million? He's probably moving to LA.
"I'll fucking take a youse' to a y'all any day."
Heresy.
Who the hell is this idiot and why is this newsworthy?
I'll take a swing at that curveball by saying where was the City Paper getting facts from when it reported McNair was found dead behind a market owned by Metro Trustee Charlie Cardwell? That was published online!?
I spent a decade in San Francisco, gay people are not people I hate or fear in spite of my rampant and obnoxious heterosexual habits.I judge people on their words and actions. And when it comes to Perez Hilton, he is a douchbag.I still chuckle when I see that black eye he got from a Black Eyed Pea staffer. That's what you get when you're a douchbag to the wrong person, Perez. You got a black eye and pee'd yourself.
Perez really is a douche. He rates somewhere around Paris Hilton, maybe a notch or two lower, in my book.
I'd love to see him on something like NBC's I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here just to see him miserable.
Perhaps Hilton developed his view of Nashville in part from reading Pith's comments on anyone in Middle Tennessee who doesn't share their opinions. He really sounded like he was channeling Woods or some of the other writers here.
Perez Hilton is the judge who asked that stupid bitch Miss California about her stance on gay marriage. He is pretty low rent and trashy but then that is why he is so good at pointing out the low rent and trashy. I lived in Nashville once and his imitation of the local vernacular is quite close, at least outside of the Green Hills, Belle Meade areas it is. And as far as Allen Jackson's home being worth 38 million, I would think that the whole city of Nashville would not even be worth that in a good economy. I remember you could buy 5000 square foot MacMansions for $100.00 a square foot. About 1/5th to 1/10th of the top rated areas in the country. Why is Nashville so cheap? Go there and you will see why.
I promise to never agree with Mark Rogers again, but we throw terms like "hillbilly" around here like they're going out of style. So we can do it but Hilton shouldn't?
As for the rest of you morons, please, never visit here.
Wasn't there a country music singer who built like a 100,000 square foot mobile home in Nashville and sold it for next to nothing to some religious cult? I think she sang some song about eating cornbread while blowing her mothers boyfriends or something. Maybe it was saltines, heck I don't remember.
I think she also sang some song about sleeping single in her Daddies bed. I think I am wrong about the religious cult. It might have been sold to an organization that Nashville's school system sends it kids for deprogramming when they are caught trying to access positive information about LGBT's.
Why do people actually concern themselves with anything this twinkletoes has to say? "A Southern man don't need him around, anyhow."
Aunt B.,
If it makes you feel better, think of it as both of us being consistent to the same Idea.
Perez is the worst of gay stereotypes and now The Advocate is putting him on their cover. There is better representation and better websites. Trent at PinkIsTheNewBlog.com for example. Former teacher from Detroit turned power blogger. He is a FAN of pop culture and not trying to BE pop culture by constantly bitching about it. Plus his boyfriend David started sites like Jossip.com and Queerty.com. These guys deserve to be recognized and seen more than Perez.
Unfollow The Advocate on Twitter campaign: "UNFOLLOW @TheAdvocateMag for Perez Hilton cover. There is better representation than that douchebag."
Sounds like just another douche-waffel who says whatever he can to get a rise out of as many people as he can so he gets... as much attention as he can. Looks like its working.
I hate people like this. Getting people to pay attention to them for having the opposite of talent....
I cannot stand him but its all working for him. Look at now what he is achieving. He says something negative about Nashville and a country music singer and soon everyone will know his name in a completely new area of the entertainment industry that never heard of him but a week ago. The only people that folks love to hear about more than those they like are those that they cannot stand. Being loathed will keep you rich and popular, being nice, well you know where nice guys finish. Last.
All I can say is Alan Jackson is a good man from a humble start. He made $40 million in one sponsorship in 2004 and millions more since. It can happen to any of us if we apply ourselves and we don't let politicians destroy America. As for Hilton, he's trash. ignore the trash. As for those who slammed Ms. California for what she said. She has a right to her opinion, as much as you. So shut up and move on or get out. Stop being a whiner and grow up. She has more character than most of the trash, like either of the Hiltons, and that is sad. Our country is full of ingrates and people who come by fame, money and celebrity too easy. Those who had to work for it like Jackson and Ms. California don't deserve your insults and bigotry. Let's grow up and get this country moving again people.
