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Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey is the gold standard of shamelessness. But for one week, he's been surpassed by Titan's running back Chris Johnson, who does indeed spell the word "team" with an "I:"1. Chris Johnson:
He filed for divorce from his Smash & Dash partner Lendale White
because Chris Johnson just wasn't getting enough attention. In related news, he's added four new hangers-on to his entourage to carry his ego, and is planning a May wedding to marry himself, saying that "I'm the only one I've ever truly loved."2. Congressman John Duncan:
The Knoxville Republican wants to get rid of the Air Marshal Service, calling it a "useless agency"
because it only rides around in planes. Look for Duncan to push for allowing gun permit holders to carry on planes, because in an airborne fire-fight with al-Qaeda, it would be way better to have Second Amendment Man
shooting recklessly while hiding behind a grandma from El Paso. 3. Tre Hargett:
When an aging voting activist left an innocuous comment on a web site, the secretary of state took it as a threat, sending TBI agents to intimidate, er, investigate
the situation. The agents, naturally, found no threat at all. When they returned to the Capitol, they found Hargett hiding under his desk. A Girl Scout troop was touring the Capitol that day.4. Robert Duvall:
The Nashville councilman told Fox last week that Tennessee gun permit holders must undergo an "anal inspection"
as part of the state's requirements. We realize this was just a slip of the tongue. But since 87 percent of Fox viewers are sexually repressed, according to the Nielsen Ratings, expect a flood of out-of-state permit requests so they can undergo said inspection -- but only if it's conducted by a cute guy named Randy.