Friday, June 26, 2009

Notes From Last Night's May Town Meeting

Posted By on Fri, Jun 26, 2009 at 1:09 PM

The results of last night's marathon Planning Commission meeting are already known. May Town Center didn't get enough votes to pass, meaning they'll need a super majority when the rezoning issue comes before Metro Council next month. We now know that the Bells Benders were partying till 2 AM and Twitter updates left one reader jones'in for a copy of her morning paper. So what's left to report? Why a grab-bag of notes, of course! - Poor Buddy Baker. According to those in the front row, the Cockrill Bend Councilmember was so terrified (of public speaking? of Tony G?) his hands were trembling while he gave a very brief speech in opposition. He and his wife left shortly thereafter. - Emily Evans and David Briley tied for best quip of the night. Evans, in reference to how May Town's design reminds her of our neighbors to the south, calls Brentwood a "terribly ordinary" place. Briley, referring to the number of hurdles that must be cleared in order for the project to be a success, says it should be known as Maybe Town Center. - The auxiliary viewing room (basically just an overly large vending area with closed-circuit televisions) was home to the circus sideshow of May Town opponents. ParchMay parodiest Rick Bradley was handing out copies of ParchMay Bingo, while Shea Butter, a John Waters' extra who stands six feet tall if you count her blond bouffant, ratcheted up the absurdity level with her "Queers Support Gay Town Center" poster. - School board member Karen Johnson told Pith she didn't have a dog in the fight. So why was she there? To grease the wheels of public opinion! Johnson, one of four to declare their candidacy for Juvenile Court Clerk, was the most fashionable pol of the night in her cream dress suit and royal blue TSU shirt underneath. For her sake, however, let's hope the outfit was enough to distract potential voters from the fact that she double-parked, blocking in three cars in a lot that had plenty of open spaces. - Divisive meetings tend to bring out the best facial expressions. Anytime you've got a literal fault line in the room, one side is always going to be snickering, guffawing or looking like they just swallowed a hangnail while the other is talking. But no one hammed it up harder than a Pro MTC'er named Derek Bell. (Possibly the Derek Bell who founded a local microdistillery and whose father is construction magnate Ray Bell. Also possibly a different one.). Words can't do justice to Bell's various masks of disgust, so here's a visual approximation of his bitter beer face anytime someone vaguely hippyish took to the lectern:
click to enlarge evolutionary-disgust.jpg

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