Monday, June 15, 2009
Hicks From the Sticks / Kotz / Law and Order / Legislature / Politics When Hezbollah Shoots Up My Daughter's Softball Game, Don't Blame Second Amendment Man
Posted by Pete Kotz on Mon, Jun 15, 2009 at 5:50 AM
But when I heard the legislature was going to allow guns in parks and on playgrounds, I began preparations. I carefully selected my camo, oiled my Cheytac M400, found a wooded sniper's perch with good sightlines to the field. When Hezbollah began shooting, I would take them out with calm exactness. I'm really good at Call of Duty.
When my heroics were complete, I would bask in the adoration of attendant mothers. They would secretly desire me in carnal ways. There would be overtures for rendezvous at the Red Roof Inn. And when they looked to their own husbands, finding their fidelity to the Second Amendment wanting, they would feel cheated by their lot in life.
Then I heard the news: Rep. Frank Niceley -- hereby known "Traitorous Coward" -- had agreed to rescind his guns-on-playgrounds bill in exchange for no further gubernatorial vetoes.
Now, needless to say, I won't be attending my daughter's softball game. Some of the other fathers bear dark complexions. One, a realtor named Jerry, reportedly works out at the Donelson Y. I refuse to go into this hostile environment unarmed.
So when Hezbollah shoots up the softball field, and I am barred from protecting you, don't blame Second Amendment Man. Blame Frank Niceley. The blood of your children is on his hands.
Comments (15)
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More proof that you guys lost because you are incapable of forming any real arguments. This may be the silliest bullshit I have ever read on this website.
This is a mockery to anyone that has ever lost a loves one or been a victim of the very same criminals that YOU ENABLE.
The Nashville Scene enables gangbangers and drug lords with this idiocy. If anyone has "blood on their hands", it is Pete Kotz and Jeff Woods.
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C'mon, Kevin. Knock off the sanctity bit. Admit that Pete's story was really really funny. I was still laughing this morning as I left my house packin heat in search of someone to defend myself against.
Kevin, seriously, it's too easy for Kotz and Woods to poke fun of you guys because of your angry, non-sensical rants that you and the rest of you gun worshipers post. All of the satire above could have been culled from posts on this very blog from guys like you- I mean "libtard", seriously! That's as stupid as Democrats who call Republicans, "Repuglicans." Regardless of how liberal the gun laws are in this state and others, I, Chris, do not feel safer knowing that Kevin and others are packing heat in public. The actual police don't feel safer either. Nor do I think that if you or others had been at VA Tech at the time of the shooting, that anything would have been stopped. I have a gut feeling that it would have made things worse. Stats, which are funny things, back me up- guns are magnets for crime. If you have one in your home, there is statistically a much higher chance you or a loved one will get shot. But hey, Kevin, let me save you some typing time- Chris1974 is a fascist control freak. That's me man. I took a personality test last year, and that was actually the description that I got.
I think Kevin has stumbled upon our next ad slogan.
NASHVILLE SCENE: ENABLING GANGBANGERS AND DRUG LORDS SINCE 1989
What do you think? Any takers?
Gangsters and criminals EFFING LOVE alt weeklies, almost as much as they love iced coffee and righteous indignation.
Chris sez: Nor do I think that if you or others had been at VA Tech at the time of the shooting, that anything would have been stopped. I have a gut feeling that it would have made things worse
Jack responds: And isn't it amazing, folks, that people who never shot a gun, who are dreadfully afraid of guns, who believe that guns CAUSE good people to go bad, who only barely know which end the bullet comes out of, are somehow the people to whom we should take advice from on how well guns work for self defense?
While we simple-minded, misguided, befuddled people with years and decades of experience with guns in all circumstances really apparently have no clue about how to make guns work, and without the anointed ones' guidance we will merrily continue to shoot ourselves in our feet, kill our children, and generally screw up society?
Like they say: When you're sick you go to a car mechanic; when you're in court you need a butcher; and when you want to know something about guns, you go to Chris.
Ha ha ha ha ha...ho ho ho...ah ah..oh..ah..wow..oh. Wait...let me catch my breath...oh...Pete Kotz, you're a stitch. Oh..wow...But what is really funny, is those stupid people who think they should be responsible for their own safety and the safety and well-being of their loved ones. What a bunch of morons.
On a scale of K through 12 that deserves a 6, Childish, petty and completely lacking in origionality. Maybe you would make more money writing commercials for male enhancement products than you do as a paid Judas Goat attempting to lead the sheep to slaughter.
Didn't we do this bit last week? At least you didn't put the narrator in the basement of his mom's house again.
Mock all you want. Just don't make laws to enforce your hoplophobic views on the rest of us.
I am a human. I use tools. Tools are not sentient. Restricting access to tools is a silly way of addressing problems.
Criminals, by definition, do not follow laws. Guess who is currently carrying guns on your play grounds and parks. The drug dealers and other criminals.
Chris1974 states: “I, Chris, do not feel safer knowing that Kevin and others are packing heat in public.”
Sorry Chris1974, I prefer actual safety over a false “feel”. My loved ones are important to me, even if yours are unimportant to you.
Chris1974 states: “The actual police don't feel safer either.”
As for “The actual police don't feel safer either.”
So the SERVANTS who encounter criminals FAR less often than their non-cop MASTERS opinion is supposed to mean . . . WHAT?
Hmmm, maybe these “fearless knights” are concerned this may make it less safe to tase 72-year-old women that are half their size over a speeding ticket. It will certainly reduce their monopoly of power over the peons.
Chris1974 ignorantly claims: “Nor do I think that if you or others had been at VA Tech at the time of the shooting, that anything would have been stopped. I have a gut feeling that it would have made things worse.”
I tell you Chris1974, while I’m not doubting your gut, I’m sure you have ample gut to make all your important decisions in life, but History and facts tell a different story to your gut fantasy of “armed resistance will only make it worse”:
Unarmed Virginia Tech (Most victims were murdered AFTER the police were “on scene”): 32 murdered/23 injured
Protected by Second Amendment Man: VA Appalachian School of Law (2 ARMED students held the killer until the police FINALLY arrived): 3 murdered/ 3 injured.
Unarmed Columbine (with 5 SWAT Teams on scene and many other cops): 13 murdered/ 24 injured.
Protected by Second Amendment Man: Pearl High School (ARMED vice-principal held the killer until the police FINALLY arrived): 3 murdered/7 injured
Unarmed Luby’s Cafeteria: 23 murdered/20 injured.
Protected by Second Amendment Man: Shoney’s Family Restaurant (ARMED diner stopped the killers and waited until the police FINALLY arrived www.uexpress.com/printable/print.html?uc_full_date=19990730&uc_comic=ac): even with multiple armed assailants and 21 hostages no innocent was harmed and assailants were stopped by Concealed carry ARMED CITIZEN Thomas Glenn Terry.
Final Tally:
Unarmed resistance -68 murdered/ 67 injured
Protected by Second Amendment Men: 6 murdered/ 10 injured
Chris1974 claims: “Stats, which are funny things, back me up- guns are magnets for crime.”
If this is true, all of us can name at least 5 U.S. “Gun-Free Zone” massacres; Chris1974 can you name 5 “Gun-RICH Zone” massacres (Gun shows, shooting ranges, police stations, etc.)? This should be quite easy since you claim: “Stats back me up- guns are magnets for crime”.
Then name the U.S. cities with STRICT gun control laws and crime rates LOWER than the national average.
Since you are so wise on statistics and “guns are magnets for crime”:
Why does DC with its, over 30 YEARS of near total ban on guns, have a 56.9 per 100,000 murder rate, while JUST 3 MILES AWAY, Arlington, Virginia with its “lax gun control laws” has a murder rate of only 1.6 per 100,000, less than THREE PERCENT of “Gun-Free” Washington, D.C.’s rate? (FBI, “Crime in the United States”,)
Chris1974 claims: “If you have one in your home, there is statistically a much higher chance you or a loved one will get shot.”
Using the same type of flawed “statistic”: If you live within 5 miles of a hospital, STATISTICALLY for the AREA, you’re 5,000 times more likely to die of: a drug overdose, suicide, vehicle wreck, helicopter crash, abortions, birthings, congestive heart failure, lung cancer, leukemia, skin cancer, breast cancer, stabbing, falls, drowning, poisoning and medical malpractice; than an equal size area starting at 6 miles away from the hospital.
The discredited “statistic” to which you refer is from Arthur L. Kellerman, “Protection or Peril?: An Analysis of Firearm-Related Deaths in the Home, 314 New Eng. J.
Med. 1557-60 1986.” Kellerman admits that his study did "NOT INCLUDE CASES IN WHICH BURGLARS OR INTRUDERS ARE WOUNDED OR FRIGHTENED AWAY BY THE USE OR DISPLAY OF A FIREARM." He also admitted his study did not look at situations in which intruders "PURPOSELY AVOIDED A HOME KNOWN TO BE ARMED." This is a classic case of a “study” conducted to achieve a desired result. In his critique of this “study”, Gary Kleck notes that the estimation of gun ownership rates were “inaccurate”, and that the total population came from a non-random selection of only two cities.
But how does Arthur Kellerman, the researcher whose work you are waving as “proof” of the futility of armed resistance?
Here’s what he had to say: “If you've got to resist, you're chances of being hurt are LESS the MORE LETHAL YOUR WEAPON. If that were my wife, would I want her to have a .38 Special in her hand? Yeah.” (“Gun Crazy”, S.F. Examiner, April 3, 1994)
Last Thought Chris1974: If you gotta LIE to make your position SEEM "reasonable" maybe it's time to rethink that position.
Haha...I always enjoy reading the brainless comments of Ashley and CHris only to see them get decimated by following comments. Wildfire, nice post...
Yeah, I understand what satire is but normally it contains at least some wit. This is simply the desperate posting of an intellectually impotent loser.
