Friday, June 12, 2009
Hicks From the Sticks / Kotz / Law and Order / Legislature / Politics Second Amendment Man Neutralizes the Olive Garden Threat
Posted by Pete Kotz on Fri, Jun 12, 2009 at 5:49 AM
I have assumed a strategic post at the Olive Garden, which serves authentic Italian cuisine just like mama used to make. Only better, since it's conveniently located near most major shopping malls, airports, and suburban freeway exits. But you may also be aware that Italy means gangster in Italian. It is here they plot their wickedness and mayhem.
Between inconspicuous bites of Five Cheese Ziti al Forno, I conduct surveillance on the elderly man seated three tables over. To you, he is simply a doting grandfather surrounded by his children and grandchildren. I know better. He's speaking in foreigner -- or at least an accented English that has no place in these parts. I can't quite make out the words; I have a wax problem with my ears. But one thing is clear: He's discussing a takeover of the Cumberland docks.
The waitress arrives with the check. The man stands and reaches for his back pocket, pulling out an object dark, bold, menacing. Go time! I pounce from my table with the agility of a leopard, loosening five rounds of cold steel into his concaved chest. The Olive Garden is awash in screams and blood. I move closer to deliver the coup de grace.
What? What's that in his hand? A wallet? What's a gangster doing with a wallet?
People are looking at me weird. I attempt to mumble an explanation. "Hey, I thought it was a gun. Gimme a break." But they're paying more attention to the elderly man, who's obviously fishing for attention. What a baby. It's not like I shot him in the face.
I slink from the room as sirens wail in the distance. Back in my mom's basement, I conduct an autopsy of the evening's minor misjudgments. I am Second Amendment Man, and this is all Margie's fault.
Comments (31)
Showing 1-31 of 31
Ironically, the only thing you shot with that post was your own foot. Ridiculous, idiotic ravings on either side of an argument serve only to make you look silly and prove to your opponents that you're a zealot. That means anything you have to say can be very easily dismissed.
As I've written before, I'm all in favor of snark and satire, but this is the sort of bullshit I expect from the Hannitys of the world, not from people who are supposed to be rational and intelligent.
You have very valid points. But if this is the best method you can find to make your points, perhaps the cause would be better served if you were to remain silent and leave the debating to the grownups.
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Sounds like someone has been reading some of the old posts of Gecko45, the original Mall Ninja. Funny stuff.
Not speaking for the other HCP holders in TN, I carry concealed in restaurants fairly often not because of some extremely unlikely attack in the restaurant, but because of the much more likely confrontation going from or to the car here in Memphis.
I was robbed at gunpoint in my driveway one month after moving to Memphis. I have been legally carrying ever since.
Poor Kotz. Absolutely ignorant of the fact that almost 40 states or so ALREADY allow for decades what Tennessee has just passed... and not a single one of them have any problem with their CCW holders.
Most people are ashamed of their ignorance but Kotz proudly displays his to the world like Dolly Parton does with her little puppies.
How does the number of this states have this type of law jump every time it's mentioned in the comments?
As a holder of a concealed carry permit, I would like to reassure all of you anti-gun hoplophobes that I will not be ready to spray bullets at anyone who threatens mass murder in your favorite restaurant. I usually sit in the back, near a window or fire exit. If anyone comes in to the restaurant and starts shooting, or announces a holdup and starts herding the unarmed sheep into a killing ground, I will be leaving as fast as possible through the back door or out the window. I see no reason to risk MY life, health, and financial well-being to defend people who are too cowardly to take steps to defend themselves. So go ahead and call 911 on your cell phone and wait for the authorities to save you - like the dead sheep at Va Tech or Luby's Cafeteria. The only time I will use my concealed handgun will be to defend myself or my family - my first move will be to leave the area, unless I have no choice but to shoot back. You happy little anti-gun sheep can all serve as unarmed victims. screaming and milling around in panic - you will provide good cover for my exit. So relax - you won't have to worry about me trying to be a hero and saving any of your worthless lives. I see the whole process as an example of Darwinian selection - anyone who does not believe in self-defense SHOULD be removed from the gene pool.
Wow....who the hell allows them to go with articles like this? This is just f@cking sad.
THIS GUY SAID IT BEST...
The Other Scott says:
Ironically, the only thing you shot with that post was your own foot. Ridiculous, idiotic ravings on either side of an argument serve only to make you look silly and prove to your opponents that you're a zealot. That means anything you have to say can be very easily dismissed.
As I've written before, I'm all in favor of snark and satire, but this is the sort of bullshit I expect from the Hannitys of the world, not from people who are supposed to be rational and intelligent.
You have very valid points. But if this is the best method you can find to make your points, perhaps the cause would be better served if you were to remain silent and leave the debating to the grownups.
Posted On: Friday, Jun. 12 2009 @ 9:23AM
Making fun of the people's bill of rights is foolish, you silly little man. I pass gas in your general direction and wipe my bottom with your rag of an article.
I never thought much of Tennessee other than being full of knee slapping slack jawed yokels.. but I guess its full of morons based on this stupidity Pete Kotz presents us with.
May a home invasion or a shootout at Denny's snap your idiot mindset back to center.
Nice fourth grade level writing, refreshingly enough, the gun didn't perform the "Vulcan Mind Meld" on the shooter controlling his every action. They (Kotz's creatures)live under our beds and are only active when we sleep, or just before we fall off to sleep. You know?
Hey Pete, I know that you were trying to be funny and most likely practicing to be a real stand up comic but you need some help here. Rather than use the old man it should be you in his place. Instead of loosening five rounds of cold steel into your chest, change that to thirteen rounds of lead into your brainless skull. Olive Garden will be awash in screams of joy.
Then I'll move in to deliver the coup de grace, by brooming your lifeless body ( which is in a much better state ) to the dumpster in the rear.
I'll keep an eye out for you. If you ever become famous I'll
pay the two cents to watch your performance.
Mr. Kotz - Please provide an example of an actual situation similar to the hypothetical one you provide occurring in any of the other 40 states that allow licensed individuals to carry firearms into restaurants.
For that matter, please provide an example of an actual situation similar to the hypothetical one you provide occurring in any of the numerous states that allow licensed individuals to consume alcohol while carrying.
The fact is, it is pretty common-place to have law-abiding, legally-licensed individuals carrying firearms into restaurants that serve alcohol in most of the United States... and yet the bloomin' onions still refuse to get themselves splattered in blood. In fact, just Thursday evening in Atlanta, I carried my handgun into the Spaghetti Factory - an establishment that serves alcohol. Had I visited the Spaghetti Factory in Nashville, I would have had to be disarmed. What is the difference?
Oh, and interestingly, neither I, nor any of the other permit holders that were likely to be in the restaurant with me, randomly shot any individual for pulling out their wallet.
Funny how the prophecies of "blood running in the streets" just never quite seems to come to pass...
So the number has gone from almost 40 to definitely 40 over the course of this thread?
There are 48 states that allow concealed carry of firearms. I don't know the number that allow carry into restaurants that do or don't serve alcohol.
Every time a state passed laws to allow concealed carry, the anti-gunners said the streets would run with blood. Every time a state passes a castle-doctrine law, the anti-gunners say the streets will run with blood. They have been wrong on both counts. CCW permit holders are 5 times less likely to be arrested for violent crimes then the general population. Pete Kotz is more of a threat than any CCW permit holder.
Hey, MattS.
Instead of providing snarky and incredulous quips about the EXACT number of states allowing concealed carry in bars and/or restaurants, why don't you do some research and look it up yourself? You don't want us all to think you're intellectually lazy, do you?
I will provide you at least one data point -- here in TX we're allowed to carry in restaurants that serve alcohol (unless there is a 51% sign) -- however, we're not permitted to drink.
Of course people like MattS are too lazy to do their own homework. However, I will save him the effort of having to find the numbers himself:
http://www.opencarry.org/restaurant.html
40 states allow for some kind of carry in restaurants that serve alcohol. Some of those states mandate open carry, some of those states mandate the 51% rule (like TX), and some states allow for other arrangements, but Tennessee is about to become the 41st state.
And you know what they all have in common? A distinct lack of blood-splattered bloomin' onions.
Mr. Kotz, to even imagine such a mental picture, has some serious emotional issues.
I carry daily, and carry in every restaurant I visit. So does my wife. We pray that we never are in a situation that calls for self-defense, but simply don't want to have to wait 10 minutes for the cops to arrive once someone starts shooting.
I'm also trying to imagine what type of person would be swayed or impressed by Mr. Kotz's missive, as that person certainly has issues as well.
I said it already, in response to your last act of foolishness.
It needn't be said again.
So, I'll say this instead: In your next attempt, try to address all the facts that have been presented to you, refute them, and THEN joke about it.
The previous suggestion was rhetorical. Of course you CAN'T refute those facts, nor do I believe that you would have the sack-size to try.
In closing, I'll do what most here will enjoy - taunt you by reminding you that YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY LAWFUL GUN-CARRIERS, EVERYWHERE YOU GO, AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT.
So, ah....
....have a nice day!
[snicker]
Honestly, I don't care how many other states have a similar law; I was only commenting on the inconsistency of the numbers I've seen cited in the comments of this blog. The number doesn't really matter to me because it doesn't actually address the criticisms of lifting the ban.
I really don't understand why anyone would dine in a place where you felt you needed to carry a gun for safety.
Well, Mark, I know you don't care about the exact number, but here's a link that I think you will find useful. Take a good look at the map. Ask yourself (better yet, do some research) if those green states have had any trouble with this law.
http://www.examiner.com/x-2782-DC-Gun-Rights-Examiner~y2009m6d14-And-then-there-were-nine
David Matthews, thanks for proving Pete's point for him! He couldn't have done it better himself. The fact that people with warped, perverted, violent fantasies like yours want to carry guns wherever they can pretty much sums up the problems with the gun nuts in a, um, nutshell.
Jim, my question is simple: do you seriously dine in places where you feel you need a gun to protect yourself? If so, why?
I carry anywhere I can do so legally. I carry it for the same reason that I buckle my seat belt. In neither case am I being afraid...I am simply being prudent. I would like to point out the the average lifetime probability of being a victim of violent crime is in the realm of 50% or higher (http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/bjs/104274.pdf. I do not know if or when I might ever need my gun, so it becomes part of my standard accoutrements.
If I were someplace "where I felt the need to protect myself", I would leave and go elsewhere.
Does this help?
Matt S., I will answer your question:
I never go anywhere I think I will need a gun, much less eat in an establishment where I think I will need a gun. Frankly it is not being in a restaurant that makes me feel I should be armed - it is the walk to and from my car where I want to be armed.
Before I got my HCP I was robbed at gunpoint in my own driveway in a "nice" part of Midtown. Since getting my HCP I have had two situations - one in front of a coffee shop and in the parking lot of a restaurant where I was very glad I was armed. In neither case did I have to draw, much less reveal the gun, but was relieved that I had it had either of those situations escalated. Both occurred on Union Avenue in Midtown during the middle of the day within the past six months. That is why I carry.
Jack, Its hard to imaging that anyone would take Pete's article serious and that, is why I answered the way I did. Pete is trying to be humorous by criticizing what he doesn't understand. Its another lazy approach to try and justify the many failed attempts to disarm the people.
The poster Mark, is correct that it really takes a sad person to imaging let alone post an article like this in the first place.
Averting to name calling and harassment will not do anything to promote Pete's agenda. And by the way, I'm not allowed to carry since I live in Illinois but I do everything I can to support law abiding citizens rights to carry firearms.
Maybe, someday you'll understand that people who take the responsibility to, care and defend themselves and family are people with courage. Notice that I didn't call you any names.
The problem could be solved so easily.
No more private phone numbers; everyone listed in the white pages.
Beside each name will be printed "HG" for have gun in house or "NG" for no gun in house.
Same goes for out on the street, wear a tag declaring if you are armed or not.
Feel free to stroll slowly to your car from the mail after dark or loiter too long in the downtown parking garage.
Goodness knows it will at least thin out the number of liberals I have to tolerate.
H
I like the idea of a HG or NG designation at restaurants. If the owner doesn't want me to carry thats fine as long as its legally posted at each entrance. Not too long ago there was a shooting at a mall here in Knoxville, a mall I have been to numerous times. Also, when visiting Memphis last year to see my fiance my gun stayed on my side at all times. We were walking downtown to get some dinner and were approached by a fairly ominious looking man, and while he finally left us alone and stopped following us, it could have gone the other way. I believe that the use or production of a firearm is the absolute last resort, but if the situation escalates that far better to be prepared than defenseless. Flight is always the best option, but as an article I saw where a woman was approached by 3 men(1 armed) while walking to her car after work flight was not an option as she was surrounded. Luckily her handgun saved her life. I would not hesitate to use my gun to protect myself, my family, or another person in a real life or death situation. Carry a firearm makes you more aware and keeps you from going places thats dangerous, it does not make you more brave or make you feel like superman. So many people think that those who carry a gun think they are invincible and will pull the gun when someone smiles at them. Its simply not true! I completely understand that its your right to not carry a gun just as its my right to carry one(atleast I don't try to get a law passed requiring you to carry a gun), and if I ever have to use it to save your life atleast say thank you.
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