Last night I got so effed up you guys. It wasn't just the booze--that was an appetizer. And it wasn't the weed or the painkillers I so methodically folded into that blissful high. It was bleach, detergent and a little something called dryer sheets that really took me to that special place, that man-free zone that only women inhabit, and rightly so: the world of...laundry.
Admit it, ladies: you're addicted to clean. It's the only place we have control over the world, the only place where we can rumble with nature and come out on top. The only place where we reign supreme. And as Sarah Haskins slyly illustrates in the above clip, laundry commercials present fresh and clean as a perfectly legitimate--not to mention appropriate--substitute for authentic sexual desire. Who needs Clive Owen or a vibrator when you've got Cheer?