Thursday, May 21, 2009

Finally, Proof That Tennessee is a Third-World Country

Posted by Caleb Hannan on Thu, May 21, 2009 at 9:02 AM

click to enlarge Placing behind Serbia? That's a caning.
  • Placing behind Serbia? That's a caning.
From the Dept. of Things You Already Knew But Couldn't Prove comes a new study that says, sort-of kind-of almost definitively, that living conditions in Tennessee are roughly equivalent to that of countries in the former Soviet Bloc. At the heart of the study is the Human Development Index, which "combines measures of various social indicators, including life expectancy, literacy, education, and per capita GDP, to measure overall human development." According to the HDI, the U.S. is doing pretty well, placing 15th out of 190 recognized countries. A ranking that would be a lot higher if the Union could convince Phil Bredesen to secede. The Volunteer State is part of the Underdeveloped Core, that shaded region you see in the map below. Plenty of previous studies, both scientific and not, have grouped us with Mississippi, Alabama and Louisiana, the short-bus riders of the Confederacy. What this newest study brings to the table, however, is a worldwide measure of our collective incompetence. Broken down by state, Tennessee ranks 68th in the world. Just behind Belarus, Libya and Malaysia. Meaning the Volunteer State is officially worse off than the place that then-Secretary of State Condeleeza Rice labeled one of six "outposts of tyranny" and a country that still considers caning an effective deterrent for crime. On the bright side, Pith is pretty sure those other countries don't believe in playgrounds. Let alone have laws that allow you to pack heat while scrambling across a jungle gym. Score one for us.
click to enlarge underdeveloped_20core_20us_20map.jpg

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Doesn't it strike you as a little strange that the District of Columbia is up there with Ireland, Connecticut, and Massachusetts?

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Posted by Miss Piggy on 05/21/2009 at 9:18 AM

Behind Libya? Yikes.
While I am both comforted and unsurpised to see highly-taxed Western European nations topping the list, conservatives might want to take note of Ireland at number 5. That place is full of Catholics who hate everything and was a total economic shithole until the EU came in and saved it from itself. So, you know, there's a point there somewhere. Probably to do with bailouts or something.

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Posted by Ashley on 05/21/2009 at 9:22 AM

Ireland has actually crashed in the last year.

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Posted by Miss Piggy on 05/21/2009 at 9:35 AM

It did? I blame the media-blamers.

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Posted by Ashley on 05/21/2009 at 9:50 AM

if you think its so terrible here then gtfo

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Posted by alum on 05/21/2009 at 11:29 AM

As a District native, Piggy, it doesn't surprise me at all. Not every policy wonk, security analyst, et cetera commutes from the exurbs. But you are right about Ireland.
For as much (deserved) attention was paid to Iceland's precipitous fall, the Emerald Isle was nearly just as bad; its top three banks went belly up and the burst of their housing bubble made ours look like a minor correction in the market.

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Posted by Caleb on 05/21/2009 at 11:36 AM

"if you think its so terrible here then gtfo"
No, I think I'll stay in my hometown and vote for leftwingers who will do the right thing and raise taxes on rich bastards who want to see everyone else work for peanuts.
If you want to live in a third world country, alum, you gfo. There are plenty of good ones where you can treat everyone else like fucking slaves.

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Posted by The OG DG on 05/21/2009 at 11:48 AM

Oh shit, now I remember Ireland's collapse. I listened to an NPR piece on their housing crisis that was charminlgy terrifying, as anything spoken by an Irishman tends to be.
How's Portugal doing? Someone research this for me.

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Posted by Ashley on 05/21/2009 at 11:51 AM

"No, I think I'll stay in my hometown and vote for leftwingers who will do the right thing and raise taxes on rich bastards who want to see everyone else work for peanuts.
If you want to live in a third world country, alum, you gfo. There are plenty of good ones where you can treat everyone else like fucking slaves."
Quit blaming your personal failure, shortcomings and lack of success on people with ambition and stamina who EARN financial well being. If you do not like working for peanuts, do what is necessary to advance your station in life and take some personal responsibly for your failure.

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Posted by JTOY on 05/21/2009 at 1:31 PM

Sorry, John Galt, Jr.: I'm good at my job and do pretty well for myself and my family.
I'm just not a self-obsessed asshole who feels the only way he can succeed is by fucking over everyone else.

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Posted by The OG DG on 05/21/2009 at 2:22 PM

>>Mississippi, Alabama and Louisiana; the short-bus riders of the confederacy

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Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on 05/21/2009 at 3:12 PM

hey OG DG, when's the last time a poor non-"bastard" signed your paycheck?
i know all the "rich bastards" in your tender, disney world view are greedy, evil people who swim around in silos of gold coins they stole from honest, hard-working fellers... but the reality is they got that money by understanding the system and knowing how to grind money out of it. you may feel that "justice" has somehow been served if someone comes and takes a bunch of that money away, but sooner or later the rich will again be rich. if they were smart enough to get rich yesterday, they'll be smart enough to get rich tomorrow.

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Posted by alum on 05/21/2009 at 3:43 PM

Duly noted, Foghorn. Big fan of yours, by the way.

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Posted by Caleb on 05/21/2009 at 3:46 PM

"...evil people who swim around in silos of gold coins..."
You're the winner for the best line of the day, alum.

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Posted by Pete Kotz on 05/21/2009 at 3:53 PM

"they'll be smart enough to get rich tomorrow. "
For some, but for most, I doubt it: all those Randian supermen are only allowed to be born to a nice inheritance once.

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Posted by The OG DG on 05/21/2009 at 3:55 PM

"For some, but for most, I doubt it: all those Randian supermen are only allowed to be born to a nice inheritance once."
Born into inheritance? WTF happened to you as a kid? Did someone you loved get an inheritance and leave you? Was it your dad?
The old saying is, "You can't fix stupid", and my dear sir, it appears that we can't fix you.
I suppose simple things like facts on how many of todays millionaires are self made would go right over your head. Facts schmacts! Your opinion means more than those!!
Now.. where did I put my silo of gold coins.....

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Posted by Dizmeister on 05/21/2009 at 5:41 PM

Hey, Hannan, what's with the "short bus" cracks? Why do you have such disregard for handicapped children to compare them to Tennesseans?

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Posted by JohnnyC on 05/21/2009 at 9:38 PM

"I suppose simple things like facts on how many of todays millionaires are self made would go right over your head."
You mean those flatter-to-deceive surveys of the wealthy, commissioned by the most neutral of parties, the wealth-management industry. Amazing how a large number of respondents claim to be wealthy from "a combination of inheritance and investment." Self-made indeed!

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Posted by The OG DG on 05/22/2009 at 8:25 AM

"The old saying is, "You can't fix stupid", and my dear sir, it appears that we can't fix you."
Don't waste any time on him.
He's just a commie pinko punk.

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Posted by Gilbert Martin on 05/22/2009 at 6:44 PM

Hate to spoil the fun, but these comparisons are bogus. As the New York Times Economix blog has pointed out, its original posting on this subject confused two different development indices, one domestic and one international. They're not really comparable to each other.
http://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/21/rich-country-within-a-poor-one-part-4/#more-13941

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Posted by David Carlton on 05/25/2009 at 10:06 AM
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