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It took a record-shattering 10,000-plus votes, but the 2009 Name of the Year finals have finally been...finalized. And your winner: future LSU linebacker and Commodore destroyer Barkevious Mingo
Kudos to the anonymous Ivy League Politburo over at NotY for once again providing the world with 10-15 minutes of pleasant distraction. And an extra ration of hog flesh for Everyday Should Be Saturday's
irrepressible Orson Swindle. Thanks to Photoshop and an acid-aided imagination, the college football blogger turned a 17-year-old genetic freak into the Steampunk Emperor, the cannon-armed general
of a long-lost fictional republic called Mingovia.
And yes, we understand how little sense that last sentence makes. But attempting to reason with the unreasonable is impossible without visual aids. And peyote. So throw your hands up in frustration, then throw your head back in lustful mirth, and prepare to bellow forth along with us the rallying cry of all Mingovia:
Mingovia the Great! Mingovia the Good!
The land of smoking craters
where once our en'mies stood...
The sunny pines of Barko! The brothelettes of Ming!
Let every filthy parcel
To Lord Mingo's glory sing!
Vanquished if you're lucky-far worse if you should lag
In battle with Lord Mingo
You'll end up bound and gagged
Today we feed the Kraken-Sweet Bubbles, Mingo's pet!
We sing as we make foes
Into Kraken-sized croquettes.
Now Mingo at the balcony-Our Steampunk Emperor, hail!
Half linebacker, half god,
(Photo Credit to EDSBS)