Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Daily Diversion / Law and Order / Silverman In Defense of Gun Nuts: Don DeLillo vs. Jeff Woods
Posted by Jack Silverman on Tue, Mar 31, 2009 at 12:33 PM
We put on our masks and ran through the downpour to our car. Not ten yards away a group of men proceeded calmly to a Land-Rover. They resembled instructors in jungle warfare, men with lean frames and long boxy heads. They drove straight into dense underbrush, not only away from the dirt road but away from all the other cars attempting shortcuts. Their bumper sticker read GUN CONTROL IS MIND CONTROL. In situations like this, you want to stick close to right-wing fringe groups. they've practiced staying alive....Don't we now find ourselves in a situation that is the economic equivalent of the Airborne Toxic Event? So here's my question for you, Pith readers (and Comrade Woods): If the very fabric of our society crumbles and you have to run for the hills, who would you rather join forces with? A bunch of Mainstream Media types, a gaggle of Vandy linguistics professors or a right-wing fringe group?
Comments (14)
Showing 1-14 of 14
Shotguns do play a rather important role in my zombie contingiency plan. I mean, essentially gun-less Britain was almost wholly devestated according to the documentary "Shaun of the Dead."
Maybe I'll just steal a boat. Can zombies swim?
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After a half-day of simply listening to the fringe guys talk, the idea of dying by airborne toxins looks pretty good.
Half the media guys would be whining about how they can't get any free range vegetables and low-cal dressing, and the other half would be mooching all your cigs and whiskey.
I think the linguistics professors win by default.
Ashley, those sissy Brits have always been afraid of guns. They seem to think that just because their murder rate is roughly one-third of ours here in the U.S., that it justifies their incredibly strict gun regulations.
Sounds like they're intentionally not murdering people just to pad their stats and concoct a bogus anti-gun stance if you ask me.
Pete, you've obviously never sat through a lecture on the use of adverbs in Old Norse.
I'll debate Jeff on this issue over the phone, record it, and then post it to youtube anyday. I'll make him look like the absolute clueless hack that he is...
Jeff, let me know, I'll send you my name, address, tele, etc.
You up for putting your money where you mouth is?
Zombies cannot swim, but can walk along river, pond, lake, ocean bottoms & climb anchor lines. Your best best for a small scale outbreak is to climb on your roof w/ a couple weeks of supplies and just wait it out. That's my plan.
Kevin, Jeff is one of the most enlightened hacks I know.
Ashley, there's some suspicion Tobin is a zombie, so I'd beware of his advice.
Oh, clearly, Jack. Clearly. Zombies can climb an anchor line but not a drainpipe? Your undead chicanery can't fool me, Tobin.
Up the Cumberland, down the Mississippi, into the Gulf, and on to international waters, where there'll be more booze and monkey knife fights than even your mother could dream of. Of course, I guess national sovereignty breaks down pretty quickly in case of zombie attacks. We can start the knife fights whenever.
I don't know if Woods is scared of Kevin or me, but it's curious he hasn't yet defended his sissy-boy stance on guns. Maybe he's just too busy writing checks to the ACLU or promoting his commie agenda.
"Kevin, Jeff is one of the most enlightened hacks I know."
- I don't doubt it. He's obviously smart. But some of the vilest scum to ever live have been fairly intelligent. In any case, your posts crack me up...did you say you work with Jeff? Tell him I will be happy to send him my bio and we can debate this issue whenever he has 30 mins or an hour to have his world -view shredded into tiny pieces. But my guess is that he is very busy writing more disingenuous hit pieces so I don't expect for him to accept the challenge.
Zombies lack the strength and coordination to climb a drainpipe or ladder. Climbing an anchor line is easy as the zombie's body weight is supported by the water.
As your dieing of scurvy and fending off sun crazed cannibals out on some Grand Raft of the Americas, I'll be safe and comfy on my rooftop, sniping the occasional looter.
A prepared gnome is a long lived gnome.
Ashley,
No. Unlike Mr. Woods, I am far from braindead.
Im talking about weltanschauungskrieg.
I'm bringing my supplies to a small, stolen yacht! My hottest surviving friends are coming with and we can eat, drink and consider suicide as the world we know falls into zombie-filled despair.
What if it rains, Tobin? You can't escape the elements on a roof.
