Friday, March 27, 2009
Crazy Crap / Kotz / Legislature / Politics Rep. Gerald McCormick Tops Kook Power Rankings
Posted by Pete Kotz on Fri, Mar 27, 2009 at 5:58 AM
1. Rep. Gerald McCormick: The Chattanooga Republican made a name for himself by voting against a resolution expressing "profound regret" for slavery and segregation. He says it wasn't his fault, so regret is a little too much to ask. McCormick will soon offer a competing resolution expressing "profound regret that slaves bitched so much, because they got free room and board and shouldn't have acted like ingrates."
2. Rep. Tony Shipley: He may soon surpass Stacey Campfield for the pole position in the Deranged Chest-Thumper 500. This week's weirdness: He wants to make a child's medical records available to all parents, which seems like a good idea if you're not into details. As written, the bill would allow an incestuous father access to his pregnant daughter's records, which may imperil the $6.5 million in federal family planning money that Tennessee receives. Shipley, who's not into nuance and can't spell "incest," offered this response: "I suggest we give it back to the federal government."
3. Rep. Joe Towns: The Memphis Democrat is pushing a bill to fine anyone caught wearing their pants too low $250. Though the measure will likely be ruled unconstitutional, it will get Towns a day or two of headlines, which is well worth the tens of thousands the state will spend on legal fees. Expect to see a slew of discrimination suits from black teenagers, white kids who wish they were black teenagers, people with small butts, and plumbers named Big Mike.
4. Sen. Thelma Harper: Though the NAACP calls it "one of the most deceitful and unjust pieces of legislation we have ever seen," that didn't stop the Nashville Democrat from becoming a sponsor of a bill to cap damages in nursing home suits to $300,000. Harper explained that old people shouldn't have any rights, because they take way too long at the Kroger checkout line, and don't wear big enough hats.
5. Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn: She voted against taxing the bonuses for AIG executives, calling it "un-American." America then attempted to trade Blackburn to Azerbaijan for a bag of rice and a goat. Azerbaijan, however, is seeking assurances that if Blackburn is allowed into the country, she will not be able to talk.
Comments (7)
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From the read of this blog, you might want to do a bit of inner reflection before calling someone a "kook". The gentleman said that he personally expressed "profound regret" for what happened and that slavery was a very terrible thing. However, he said that he felt that supporting the resolution would support opening old wounds. He also said that he knew the vote may not be popular, but that he did not feel that it was his right to speak for all Tennesseans in this case. I appreciate your right to free speech, Mr. Kotz, I truly do. However, your interpretation in this blog goes a bit far. Those are vicious comments.
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Kay, seriously, the legislature speaks for all Tennesseans all the time. It's called a unanimous resolution. And he wasn't even being asked to say he or anyone else is sorry about slavery. "The resolution's sponsor, a black Democrat from Nashville, noted after that she's not asking the legislature to make an unambiguous apology--something that New Jersey, Alabama and North Carolina have done. Instead, her resolution would express regret but stop short of saying we're sorry."
How f'ing hard is that to do? McCormick is either a racist bigot or feels like he has to pander to that moronic inbred constituency.
That's one sexy picture. But don't fear. Word on the street is there will be an exception made for plumbers. Plumbers are reliable voters and with the recent fame achieved by one of their own, Joe the Plumber, the legislators don't want to mess with them. The sagging pants bill is only going to be targeting young blacks and the white "wannabes." Next, Towns will be targeting people who wear their baseball caps sideways. Stay tuned (and classy) Tennessee.
What would be cool is if they fined the guys who wear their hats sideways, and then gave the money to the guys who wear their hats straight, since I think we're the only people who haven't got a stimulus package yet.
I like to wear my hat backwards because I think it's cool. But I haven't received any stimulus money yet either. And the government does keep track of these kinds of things as part of the Patriot Act. There are several categories, including people who wear their hats normally, those who don't wear hats, people who wear them backwards, and punks who wear them sideways. There is actually an FBI file on those in the latter category.
Anyways, this whole thing came up after a recent visit by Joe Towns to Hickory Hollow Mall. Security had to usher him out of the mall after he started yelling at teenagers with sagging pants.
