Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Pull Up Those Saggy Pants: the Legislature's Watching

Posted by Jeff Woods on Wed, Mar 25, 2009 at 1:06 PM

click to enlarge Rep. Joe Towns
  • Rep. Joe Towns
The fashion and decency police are working in tandem this session in the legislature. A House subcommittee voted this afternoon to make it a misdemeanor to wear saggy pants. Any kid showing his underwear or ass in public would face a $250 fine. "This bill has been coined the anti-crack bill," said the sponsor, Rep. Joe Towns, D-Memphis. "I think any respectable citizen would be against crack. It's a decency bill in terms of having our young people pull their britches up." Rep. Karen Camper, another Memphis Democrat, was the only subcommittee member against the bill. She held up pictures of people's butts to try to pin down Towns on what's illegal under his legislation. Under the bill's definition of underwear, she said, she'd break the law by wearing a low-cut dress that showed her bra. "A woman working at Hooter's, that would be a violation," she said. She accused Towns of singling out black kids for punishment. "I don't know what you're insinuating," Towns snapped back. "It's not minority kids. It's not white kids. It's not targeting anyone." "There were people who didn't want me to wear hot pants in my day," Camper said, "but they didn't legislate it. You're trying to legislate fashion in my opinion." "No," Towns said, "we're legislating decency."

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My head hurts.

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Posted by Caleb on 03/25/2009 at 3:07 PM

What about people like me who were born with a concave ass and the inability to keep my pants at the required height? While we're at it can we ban mossknuckle and muffin tops? Oh, and tramp stamps, too.

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Posted by Bawston Sean on 03/25/2009 at 3:20 PM

I sure hope you meant mooseknuckle, Sean. Otherwise I'm dangerously behind on my slang.

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Posted by Caleb on 03/25/2009 at 4:01 PM
Posted by Ashley on 03/25/2009 at 4:12 PM

Sean, I believe the legislature is once again showing its prejudice, this time to concave ass crowd. As I'm sure you know, thousands of fellow Americans suffer from this affliction. But is the legislature prepared to recognize this? Is it offering exemptions for those suffering from the concave buttocks? No, it's not. If I was you, I'd be on the horn to the ACLU as we speak.

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Posted by Pete Kotz on 03/25/2009 at 4:24 PM

This is the best Democrats can do? They waffle on issues of real import, but - by God! - the state is gonna make er'body pull their pants up!!
Does Joe Towns even known what the FONCE is?

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Posted by Heatseeker on 03/25/2009 at 4:25 PM

Are you sure that's not Sen. Clay Davis from THE WIRE?

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Posted by Jack on 03/25/2009 at 5:29 PM

I'm all for people pulling their pants up and bras not showing! I don't care to see what they are wearing "under" their clothes. People should have respect for others and more so out in public. Personaly this bill should have never been brought up. It's not the governments responsiblity to tell people how to wear their clothing. Government is stepping over the line and it's not going to stop here!
Supporter of Raw (real) Milk. Taste good.

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Posted by Jessica on 03/25/2009 at 5:30 PM

I think this is the work of the large belt & suspender lobby in this state. Too long have the liberals got away with plumbers butt, too long have liberals been allowed to buy pants 4 sizes too big. Now, the B.S. Lobby will use its mighty pocket book to crush those lefty big pants wearing hippies. I for one am happy that there is nothing else important going on in our state so that politicians can spend our money and their time getting to the issues that matter. Screw the state budget crisis, NO MORE BIG PANTS!!!!!!!!!

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Posted by Johnny "The Cuff" Highwater on 03/25/2009 at 5:51 PM

Pull up your pants! You look like a crazy person! We don't wear our pants that way! That's not right!!

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Posted by Kevin Meaney on 03/25/2009 at 6:46 PM

I for one totally support Rep. Towns thinking. I think that the real problem here is the lack of parents doing their job as a parent. If it's considered indecent according to the current laws, fine the parents of the minor kids involved and show the parents you still have to be in control. I think whats really needed here is a swift kick in the A$$ to the kids and parents start being parents again.

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Posted by Daryl Marek on 03/30/2009 at 9:49 AM
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