Thursday, February 26, 2009
Crazy Crap Humane Society's Monkey Ban: Bad for You, Me and Tennessee
Posted by Brantley Hargrove on Thu, Feb 26, 2009 at 3:15 PM
So why, then, does a ban on primate ownership exist in Tennessee? Their propensity to maul people beyond recognition and without provocation, and to fling hands-full of doo like so much snow notwithstanding, I don't see what the big deal is. Handsomely appointed chimpanzees waddling down Broadway would not only raise our profile, it'd lift my spirits in a way few things other than midgets can.
The Humane Society is pushing legislation for a universal ban on private ownership of primates as pets, effectively spoiling the fun for everybody. And the evidence they produced in defense of this is scant, just read the pitifully small list of monkey-related incidents--only 46 disastrous or potentially disastrous attacks in 4 years, two of which occurred in Tennessee? So what if they all carry a form of the Herpes virus? It'll take a lot more than horrific, eye contact-initiated maulings and incurable diseases to convince me that our fellow simians are a bane.
So call your U.S. senator and tell him/her, 'No to Monkey Prohibition! We want our monkeys and we want them now!'
Comments (10)
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'No to Monkey Prohibition! We want our monkeys and we want them now!'
Settle down Brantley. We don't want you going ape!.
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My view of primate ownership changed after I listened to a segment of "This American Life" about the need for a retirement home for show business chimpanzees and ex-pets. Wish I could find the URL to post here but I learned two things: the chimps you see on TV and movies are infants, and some of these animals can live up to 70 years old. You're not adopting a dog, you're adopting a wild child.
In the old days, when these animals reached adolescence and became difficult to work with they'd be euthanized, or worse. In this more enlightened age they are sent to "retirement homes" where they do things like swing from trees in between human activities like chomping on cigars and watching TV.
Today's New York Times has a similar take on primate pets, which you can read here. Clearly, primates are wild animals simply not suited for home living after a certain age. It's unconscionable that an entire business of breeders has cropped up to profit from ripping infant wild animals from their mothers and selling them to an unsuspecting public.
Keep the ban in place. In fact, let's take it nationwide.
Whether keeping non-human primates as pets is humane, dangerous or even legal is a topic of much debate, this site offers great (non-biased) information for those considering the idea, and those who may already have pet monkeys.
http://www.petprimates.com
It's not monkeys in bowties, it's monkeys in vests. Especially vests that zip, with hoods. God, I love that monkey. They really are like people. Well, closer to people than midgets anyway.
so long as we can keep injecting them with trial drugs and use them to test new shampoos and cosmetics, we're good
You have a point, Alfred. An adorable monkey packing heat could be no more dangerous than the barbarian hordes that descend on this blog every time we whisper the words, 'Gun Control.'
People don't understand what they are talking about and it drives me crazy as it should everyone. Not all monkeys cary the herpes virus. They can contract it just like you and I but they are not all hosts. And while other species of primates are more aggressive than others, monkeys are no different than any other animal. I have had four monkeys, and not one threw poo, nor gave me a disease, and i was blessed with years of enjoyment with them until they passed. Look up the statistics on dog maulings each year. There are 1000's and even 15 or so deaths each year because of them. Yet no one says we should ban dogs. They can pee on the floor and crap in the house, and chew up furniture, and severly cripple you. Yet no one wants to sanction them. Because they don't get headline news. And we understand that a few bad apples shouldn't spoil the whole bunch. You need to be responsible when caring for primates as well as dogs. Google the helping hands monkeys. These are monkeys taught how to help the handicap. Seems they wouldn't make very good companions if they were all a menace. Stop taking away our freedoms. Thank you.
