Tuesday, February 10, 2009
By the Way / Hannan 10 Tips for Making Fast Cash During the Depression
Posted by Caleb Hannan on Tue, Feb 10, 2009 at 12:23 PM
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Today's Tennessean offered 10 Tips to Make Some Quick Cash, Legally. A sort of light-hearted guide to easy money during the Depression. Unfortunately, with tips like sell plasma and become a medical guinea pig the list was both unintentionally funny and very, very sad.
The daily's critical error seems to have been sticking with ideas that don't carry the risk of jail time. Turning Type B into Benjamins is all well and good, but as far as get-rich-quick schemes go it's not nearly as lucrative as, say, embezzlement. After all, the adage crime doesn't pay only makes sense if you get caught. Otherwise it's a goldmine!
So with that in mind, here's 10 alternate options--some legal, some not so much--for keeping your head above water during the Economic End Days...
1) Rent ad-space on your body
Works especially well for baldies.
2) Strip copper from A.C. units
Who needs cold air in February?
3) Sell a kidney
It's why God gave you two.
4) Pull fillings from corpses
Tooth decay is the last of their worries.
5) Throw yourself in front of a car; call Bart Durham
It worked for Coach Foster.
6) Sell naming rights to your child
Adelphia Jones has a nice ring to it.
7) Run your own illicit numbers game
It's a tax-free version of the tax on the poor.
8) Moonlight as a drug mule
Still the cheapest way to travel.
9) Swiffer public restrooms and make your own merkins
Little known fact: Pubic wigs are recession-proof.
10) One word: Handjobs
Self-explanatory.
Any that we missed? Leave 'em below.
Comments (4)
Showing 1-4 of 4
Why not get in touch with Bernie Madoff (sp?)for some tips on money makers. Hell, he knows how to swindle good and proper, and stay out of jail. And I'll just bet he's still in business in one way or another.
Then there's Tom Dascle. He knows how to defuse the IRS and ascend to a nomination to a cabinet spot. Surely he would have some succinct advice.
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Posted by
Sam Cynic
on 02/10/2009 at 6:45 PM
Bookmarked this. Thanksgiving owing to you against sharing. Positively advantage my time.
Posted by
Meenegefnip
on 01/08/2010 at 10:16 PM
