Monday, February 9, 2009
Crazy Crap / Woods Briefing for a Descent into Hell
Posted by Jeff Woods on Mon, Feb 9, 2009 at 5:16 AM
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Like a trusted family friend, The Tennessean was here for you over the weekend with an entire editorial page devoted to making everyone feel better about that economic shitstorm enveloping the planet. "As the financial crisis hits home in very personal ways, it's important that everyone remember we are all in this together," Gannett said in the soothing, personal tones that only a multibillion-dollar corporate mega-chain can convey.
The page included well-meaning guest columns. We learned it's OK to feel "a host of conflicting emotions, including anger, guilt, grief, helplessness, denial and sadness. ... It is important to understand that anxiety, fear, sadness and paranoia are all normal reactions to the current economic climate." I feel better already. Even your bastard boss deserves sympathy. He "may feel terribly conflicted about downsizing." (That's especially important to remember, by the way, when it's Gannett laying you off.) The economy can really fuck you up physically too. So what you need to do is exercise and think good thoughts.
It's not all bad, you know. When Aunt Mae and Uncle Fred move in with you, things will start looking up. While many families have learned to really hate each other now that there's no money, "for some, it is drawing families together, as relatives who suddenly need new shelter move in with generous relatives." It'll be like the Waltons.
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