Friday, January 30, 2009
40 Jealous Whores / Congress / Daily Diversion / Hicks From the Sticks / Politics How Can I Become an Illegal Alien?
Posted by Pete Kotz on Fri, Jan 30, 2009 at 3:22 PM
Dear Senator Harkin,
As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005...
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.
Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
Comments (7)
Showing 1-7 of 7
Hey, if you're willing to work 16 hours a day for less than minimum wage while racist redneck fuckwads constantly treating you like a diseased cockroach, well, then go for it.
like
dislike
It's an easy three-step process, Mr. Ruppert, and I'll even chip in some $ if you go forward with it:
http://travel.state.gov/law/citizenship/citizenship_776.html
"Put up or shut up" seems to be an appropriate response to this. Claiming jealously of people who live among us but who have fewer rights by the day is a cruel joke.
Mr Ruppert,
Federal law states that "A person who wants to renounce U.S. citizenship cannot decide to retain some of the privileges of citizenship, as this would be logically inconsistent with the concept of renunciation. Thus, such a person can be said to lack a full understanding of renouncing citizenship and/or lack the necessary intent to renounce citizenship, and the Department of State will not approve a loss of citizenship in such instances."
Thus, it is a one-way street. Only illegal aliens get to enjoy "some of the privileges of citizenship" (sanctuary, bank accounts, driver's licenses, home mortages, in-state tuition, etc) without all the silly burdens of legal immigration, taxation and citizenship. Of course, the law states that this is "logically inconsistent," but that is what our politicians are...
Only after they are granted full amnesty can illegals return home, renounce their US citizenship and then sneak back across the border and keep the good times rolling.
You are a cow to be milked for cash to keep paying for all of this cheap labor. If you don't like it, you are a racist.
First of all, Mr. Ruppert is a farmer. He already works at least 18 hours a day and probably cannot afford his property taxes.
Can you recognize a letter of frustration written with humor and sarcasm, instead of hate? Maybe if there was more humor, even sarcasm, we would not have to worry about frustrations boiling up to the point of ignition. Better than taking a gun to the post office.
Hey everyone,
Let's meet Jon. Jon is a late twenty-something that work's nights waiting tables at the Palm with the hope of meeting the right connection to promote his pop country/indy rock band. During the day he writes songs using the only three cords he knows and gives his two cents about a farmer in Iowa who probably does more actual work before 9am. than he does all week.
Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in his shoes.
I'd love to help too; this way my vote counts, as you won't be able to vote then.
John Lamb said:
"Put up or shut up" seems to be an appropriate response to this. Claiming jealously of people who live among us but who have fewer rights by the day is a cruel joke.
Guess what, the illegals are ILLEGAL!!!
They should not be here in the first place.
Why should they have preferential treatment over citizens of this country?
Why should they have rights to start with? The only right they have is to go back where they came from.
Jon said:
Hey, if you're willing to work 16 hours a day for less than minimum wage while racist redneck fuckwads constantly treating you like a diseased cockroach, well, then go for it.
For them to be treated so bad, there sure is a hell of a lot of them that keep comming. And the ones that do get sent back come right back here.
