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Friday night would hardly seem like the right time to devote MORE brainpower to Eric Crafton. But since we've been flogging the hell out of this WNPT English Only debate, it seemed appropriate that we actually watch.
After the jump, our version of the liveblog...
- Come on WNPT, we needed a wide shot to start off this broadcast. How
are people supposed to grasp the ridiculousness of Crafton's no-show if
they can't see his empty chair?
- Minor hyperbole alert: Briley says that English Only could be a disaster (!) if it threatens our right to federal funds, like the $278 million Nashville gets yearly from the government for Title Six.
- Briley talks about how English Only will hurt our image. Points to Lamar
Alexander's trip to Japan to welcome new business. Since Crafton isn't
here, allow me to offer what he would have said in rebuttal: "I went to
dinner with the Japanese consulate and we talked. In Japanese. For two
whole hours!" That is all.
-There's that wide shot. Hey there chair! Keep being inanimate!
-Oooooh, Briley says Obama would be anti-English Only. Clearly pandering to the Hope vote.
- Briley knocks down Crafton's California legislation translators myth. Um, David,
are you saying you don't trust Fox News to give you the WHOLE story?
Someone needs to be reintroduced to the
No Spin Zone...
- Just as I feared. We're halfway through and both Briley and Siegenthaler have acquitted themselves well in their respective roles. Not a single foot-in-mouth moment thus far. That makes for some pretty ho-hum TV. At least by now we'd have gotten one or two Crafton malaprops. Boo hiss.
- Oh thank god. It's finally time for callers. The possibility for mind-bendingly racist comments has just increased, a thousand-fold.
- Damn you WNPT! You're having Siegenthaler read the calls out loud rather than letting the crazies rant for themselves! Oh, you're a cagey one, public broadcasting.
- Ryan from San Antonio: How can we be united with several different languages? Thanks for the question Ryan. But if crafting that gem took you away from border patrol for even a second, I really think you've done a disservice to this great nation.
- Anonymous from Portland: Early immigrants had to learn English, why
do we have to learn their language? Briley: I don't accept the premise.
Neither do I because It's not true. Ya got that, Anonymous, you thick-skulled, easily-inconvenienced
Why should I have to dial two for English Oregonian?
-Excellent work production team. Briley says the name Eric and they
once again pull out for the wide shot. Did you forget that Crafton was too cowardly to show up, dear at-home viewer? Cuz WNPT is here to offer you this subtle reminder.
-Seigenthaler asks if we can use
computer science to help people learn English. I'm pretty sure he meant to ask if we can use computer programs as learning tools, but I can't get over the anachronism.
Computer science. For a guy born into the internet age, that's a distracting way to put it. Siegenthaler might as well have just barfed up a tabby. This, of course, is no reflection on his abilities as a moderator tonight (he's been excellent) or his qualities as a human being. This is just another reminder that young people are assholes, and will forever be subconsciously marginalizing their elders. Carry on.
- And that's it! A half hour--24 minutes if you take into account the video at the top--gone in a flash.
Thanks to Seigenthaler and Briley for volunteering their time for a worthy cause. Thanks to WNPT and Justin Harvey for realizing months ago that devoting an hour to English Only would be invaluable less than a week before the polls closed. And a special thanks to Eric Crafton, for being too cowardly to debate the very amendment he's been pushing for nearly three years and, in the process, showing all of Nashville exactly what he's made of.
Happy voting!