Monday, December 8, 2008

Titans Gameday Notes: A Beleaguered Browns Fan Lashes Out

Posted by Jack Silverman on Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 6:03 AM

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The beating I took in the stands was nothing next to the beating my hometown team took on the field.

Maybe it was an omen. Not more than five minutes after I headed off to LP Field for yesterday's Titans/Browns game, I was Serpas-ized coming off the Jefferson Street Bridge. Sure, 52 in a 35 is a little excessive, but I was pretty sure I was on the way to witness the biggest upset of the NFL season, and I didn't want to be late. 

I knew I shouldn't have offered to pick up my friend at the Werthan Lofts. (By the way, what's the difference between an apartment and a loft? An asshole lives in the loft.) Still, I figured the officer would see my Browns hat and have sympathy for me, but no such luck. 

With the Browns up 6-0 at the end of the first quarter, I frantically started texting my Titans-loving friends, knowing my window for trash-talking might slam shut in no time, and the texts would be flying back at me at twice the speed. Still, when you're a Cleveland fan, you exploit any opportunity to gloat, no matter how brief it may turn out to be. 

From there it was all downhill for the boys in brown and orange. No need to relive the details here. I'm sure all of you Titans fans were hootin' and hollerin' with every cringe and indignity I had to suffer through. I hope you're happy with yourselves, beating up on a helpless, horribly coached team helmed by a third-string quarterback. Pat yourselves on the back. 

Meanwhile, a few observations on why Titans fans are lame, the economy is fine and mullets never go out of style, after the jump:

TITANS FANS ARE LAME

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Check out the stands as the second half was about to begin. Sure, some people were still at the concessions, but empty seats were in surprisingly ample supply throughout the game.

As someone who grew up going to four or five Browns games a year in the old, blustery Cleveland Municipal Stadium--where the game-time wind-chill factor (or what some boneheaded weather reporters here like to call, "the feels-like temperature") was routinely 10 below zero--I can safely say that Titans fans are some of the lamest in the NFL. And in case you think I'm biased, a 2006 statistical study attempted to determine the most loyal NFL fans for the period from 1996-2005. The Titans were 28th out of a field of 32 teams. And who was first? Why, Cleveland, of course.

During the period covered in the study, the Browns won one-third of their games, yet filled 99.8 percent of their seats. And this in a setting that frequently resembled the set of Dr. Zhivago. (OK, maybe we're not so much loyal as we are gluttons for punishment, but you get the point.)

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Cleveland fans heading to the old Cleveland Municipal Stadium, circa 1978.

Meanwhile, the Titans are having a stellar season, yet there were empty seats all around us. Surely most or all of these tickets were sold, no? Yet many folks couldn't be bothered by the cold weather (or what we in Cleveland would refer to as "a nice spring day"). And as the Titans scored their first touchdown to take the lead, the fans in the concessions lines who were watching on TV monitors overhead barely emitted a peep.

And what's up with that stadium announcer? He sounds like a Southern dandy sipping a martini at the Belle Meade Country Club. You want your stadium announcer to sound like Chuck D., not Thurston Howell III.

RECESSION SCHMECESSION

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This was the scene in the club-seat concourse. The only massage you might get at a Browns home game would have a lot more knuckle and would focus on the face.

If the economy is bad, you wouldn't know it in the club section at LP Field. Not only were fans who had paid $100-plus per ticket lined up spending gobs of money on overpriced grub and beer--they were also queued up for massages. Massages? At an NFL game?

MULLETS ARE ALWAYS IN STYLE

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A stunning example of the Kentucky Waterfall. Extra points for the Earl Campbell jersey.

Comments (13)

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So Clevelanders don't have the sense to get out of the cold, and put up with obnoxious announcers. And Titans fans are the lame ones? Riiiiiiight.

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Posted by loonytick on December 8, 2008 at 10:48 AM

I never said we had sense.

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Posted by Jack on December 8, 2008 at 10:52 AM

Sounds like the writer (?) needs to return from whence he came...immediately.

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Posted by Emmett Flatus on December 8, 2008 at 11:47 AM

Emmett, everything I said about the fans in Cleveland vs. Nashville I stand by. But is my post the result of being a bitterly disappointed Browns fan and a sore loser? Hell yeah!
But as far as moving back there, hell no! I can't stand those cold, dreary winters.
Also, it's more fun to gripe about how things are better in the city you're NOT in. If I moved back there, I'd have to gripe about how the weather was so much better in Nashville. And I'd rather complain about lame fans here than bad weather there.

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Posted by Jack on December 8, 2008 at 12:03 PM

Point taken.

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Posted by Emmett Flatus on December 8, 2008 at 12:31 PM

I have to agree with Jack. I went to my first Titans game early in the season. The one thing you notice is that the fans are weirdly quiet. I've been to games in Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis and Milwaukee (back when the Pack used to play there), and the Titans are like attending a tennis match comparatively.
I'd chock it up to two things: The relative absence of drunks in attendance (in Cleveland, half the crowd could blow a .20), and the fact that games here don't seem like the entertainment portion of a Teamsters convention. Maybe because the team's so new, the Titans don't have the generational devotion among the less moneyed rabble, the kind of people who make a day at the stadium seem like Free Hooker Night at Turkish prison (in a good way).
I noticed the same thing at the Predators game Saturday night. It was more casual church service than 50-cent Shot Night. It does freak you out a bit.

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Posted by Pete Kotz on December 8, 2008 at 2:31 PM

I realize Jack is merely stirring the pot here. But the "statistical study" that showed Titans fans ranking last is obviously skewed by the fact that in 1996, the team was playing a lame-duck season in Houston and fans stayed away in droves. In 1997 they played in Memphis, where no one really wanted them. In 1998 they played at Vanderbilt. They weren't yet called the Titans in any of those seasons. The crowds became extremely strong and remained that way once they moved into the Coliseum.
Can't speak to Pete's comment about the game he attended, but had he lived here a little longer he would know that, in their inaugural year downtown, Titans crowds gained a reputation for being among the loudest in the NFL.

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Posted by BoydBBiggs on December 8, 2008 at 3:52 PM

BBB,all fair points. And throw in the fact that yesterday the Titans were playing my hapless home team, which might have made the game's outcome a foregone conclusion, and I can understand why it may have been less than a hot ticket.
Still, as Pete can attest, and as I've experienced, there's a level of emotional involvement and intensity that is much lower here than in some other big football markets: Cleveland, Pittsburgh, Philly, Green Bay, D.C., New York to name a few. The friend who went with me yesterday went to many NY Giants games, and says the crowds here don't come near matching the intensity.
Now, I'm not making any sort of moral judgment. Hey, an argument could be made that being rabidly devoted to a bunch of overpaid pituitary cases running into each other is silly and juvenile, and that the supposedly "best" fans from those other cities need to get lives. Maybe it's that Nashville sports fans aren't living vicariously through the accomplishments of their teams.
In Cleveland, that's all some folks have!

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Posted by Jack on December 8, 2008 at 4:22 PM

Jack and BBB are definitely on the right track but Pete hit it on the head. D.C., Philly, Chicago, Cleveland. All of these are original NFL franchises. In every case, over 70 years old.
As a D.C. native, I know that many Redskins fans can trace back their season ticket lineage three generations or more. Heck, the waiting list to buy them runs five years.
That kind of generational devotion is something that can only be built over time. Give the Titans another 60 years or so, then we'll see how they stack up.

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Posted by Caleb on December 8, 2008 at 6:19 PM

Caleb, young whippersnapper, I'm afraid I'll be checked out in 60 years. That blog post is on you, my chronologically blessed friend.

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Posted by Jack on December 8, 2008 at 7:52 PM

Remember, too, that while many of these fans are are also going through a period of depression regarding the Vols. UT is the team they've been slavishly devoted to all their lives, not the Titans.

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Posted by loonytick on December 9, 2008 at 12:22 PM

hey pith...i've been to games in Cleveland...the stadium announcer there is 90 years old. The Titans p-a guy is the best in the business.

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Posted by rip on January 2, 2009 at 9:54 PM

Well, I do not go along at a point or two while the remainder appears reliable.

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Posted by Tomiko Michener on March 14, 2010 at 12:54 PM
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