Thursday, November 6, 2008

Let's Split Tennessee Into Two States! Quick, While the Dems Rule the Nation!

Posted By on Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 5:28 AM

click to enlarge tn-counties-map-1.jpg
I, Jack Silverman, on this, the sixth day of November, in the year of our Lord (well, somebody's Lord anyway), 2008 do hereby decree: From this day forth, there shall be two Tennessees, West and East, which shall serve to allow their respective populations to revel in their political beliefs in a more cohesive and representative fashion. OK, I admit that this whole two-Tennessee proposal came about because I'm trying to get my diehard Democrat relatives off my back. In the last 24 hours, both of my parents (Cleveland, Ohio) and one cousin (Los Angeles) have called to deride me for living in this backwater state, where McCain trounced Obama. I explained that Davidson County went 60 percent for Obama, and claimed that, furthermore, all of West Tennessee likely went for Obama. But frankly, I had no clue if I was right. So I decided to crunch the numbers and figure it out. Using this Tennessee election-result map (thanks CNN!), I decided to split Tennessee into two states to see how we fared. My version of West Tennessee (see the map above) uses as its dividing line the eastern borders of the following counties: Robertson, Davidson, Williamson, Maury and Giles. And you know what? I was right! West Tennessee is blue! The breakdown, after the jump.... West Tennessee: Obama: 615,887 votes (51.1 percent) McCain: 590,150 votes (48.9 percent) East Tennessee: McCain: 880,010 votes (65.4 percent) Obama: 465,188 votes (34.6 percent) So here's the deal: Let's split Tennessee in two. Hey, if there are two Carolinas and two Dakotas, why not two Tennessees? West Tennessee had 47 percent of the total votes, East Tennessee had 53 percent. Assuming that's representative of the respective populations, we'll let East Tennessee have six of the state's 11 electoral votes, and we'll keep five. OK, I'm a divider and not a uniter. Big deal. You've got to admit, there's a certain beauty to the logic (assuming you share my political views, but of course you do!). So who's with me? Write your state representatives and senators now! It's time for two Tennessees! And with the Dems in charge of the House, Senate and 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., there's no time like the present! Quick, let's gerrymander the shit out of this beeyotch while we can!

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