Our Tennessee Shame
Two more incompetent assassins could not have been found in this recent plot on Sen. Obama’s life. And, of course, one of them just had to be from Tennessee. The pair of ignoramuses was arrested Wednesday: Daniel Cowart from Bells, Tenn., and some other clown-shoe from Arkansas.
Now let’s get down to brass tacks and discuss the plan in all its ridiculous exactitude. Any script writer would be hard-pressed to come up with a more inane plan. Here’s a laundry list composite:
-Burglarize houses to fund rampage. Nope. Foiled by parked cars and barking dog.
-Purchase rope and ski masks at Wal-Mart. Check
-Steal handguns from our folks. Check.
-Brag openly about our intentions and swagger. Check.
-Scrawl swastikas on the very car we’ll roll through the country in while engaging in hate crimes. Double-check.
-Shoot window out of predominantly black church. Check, check and check.
-Rent white tuxedos and top hats to accentuate our own racial purity (an inference).
-Kill 88 black people (probably not the phraseology used). One eight for each “H” in Heil Hitler.
-Behead 14 for the 14-word white supremacist mantra.
-Shoot at Sen. Obama drive-by-style.
Knowing boys like these are taking up the mantle of Lee Harvey Oswald—or whoever it was that shot JFK—perhaps we can all sleep a little easier knowing our probably-soon-to-be president is in no real danger.