Monday, October 20, 2008
Fat, Pathetic Dude Grabs Boobs, Runs
By Tracy Moore
on Mon, Oct 20, 2008 at 11:02 AM
on the prowl
. A man in his early 30s with "brown hair with a scruffy mustache and a beard" who weighs between 200-230 pounds has been grabbing tatas and high-tailing it away.
Sheesh. Any woman who's been on earth for 20 minutes knows the ridiculous, bewildering power of her boobs. All the leering, scanning, glancing and sizing up gets old by the time you're 13, and yet, you've still got at least 10 more years of viable boob relevance to go. They're conversation starters and conversation stoppers, the alpha and omega, the beginning and the end. They're also so ridiculously, bewilderingly fetishized that news like this ought to infuriate but instead leaves you with a big old "eh."
Sure, any properly socialized man knows boob-grabbin' is ridiculously out of line, and yet, the world is littered with ample bosoms. Take a weak manchild, his mind already
a couple melons short of a fruit salad, tempt him with whimwhams everywhere he goes, and what do you expect?
For some reason I also picture the guy slipping on a big banana peel as he runs away.
Just a quick reminder to cover up the jugs if you're "hanging out" around Vandy's campus, because the Boob Burglar is