suggest that Barack Obama trails Sarah, er, John McCain in Tennessee by some 16 points, which may sound like an insurmountable lead. Still, we feel that the Obaminator could pull off one of the greatest upsets in Tennessee presidential election history if only he were able to figure out how to get inside the heads of average Tennesseans. To that end, we present...
TOP 10 WAYS OBAMA CAN TURN TENNESSEE BLUE:
10. Convene a special Senate session to prevent the November REO Speedwagon show at the Wildhorse.
9. Appoint Ms. Cheap as Secretary of the Treasury.
8. Promise to end John Rich's reign of terror over Love Circle.
7. Wear orange every day till the election.
6. Order the extra-hot chicken at Prince's.
5. Pledge to bring peace to the East Bank of the Cumberland.
4. Less barrel, more pork.
3. Smile politely when people mistake him for Harold Ford Jr.
2. Announce that the only race card he's interested in is a mint-condition, first-run Darrell Waltrip NASCAR trading card.
And...finally, No. 1....
1. Swear that he won't apply for membership at the Belle Meade Country Club.