Friday, April 18, 2008

Hey Tuke, This is Only a Test

Posted By on Fri, Apr 18, 2008 at 10:55 AM

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Last week, Pith in the Wind grilled Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate Mike Padgett asking him a series of tough, provocative questions, including whether he “likes puppies,” and “how 'bout them Vols?” Our interview caused some controversy, and some have since likened our difficult slate of queries to the aggressive behavior of Charles Gibson and George Stephanopoulos during this week's Democratic presidential debate. Well, we resent any implication that we are unfair, and this week, in the spirit of Pith's fair and balanced coverage, we have a new offering of questions for Padgett's Democratic opponent, Nashville lawyer Bob Tuke. Since the Saab-driving Tuke apparently does not have access to a phone, we decided to write out our questions below: 1. A 140-lb. rider on a 160-lb. motorbike, traveling 25 miles per hour in a direction 15 degrees east of north, enters Briley Parkway without properly checking that the highway is clear. He collides with a 2,400-lb. car traveling north at 40 miles per hour. The two vehicles and rider become entangled. In what direction and at what speed will the wreckage move immediately after the collision. (Bob, please assume that the car's mass includes its occupants.) 2. Which of the following statements is NOT true regarding glass-membrane pH electrodes: A) The electrodes are subject to both alkaline and acid errors. B) The electrodes are selective but not specific for measuring the activity of the hydrogen ion. C) The Nernst equation can usually be used to relate the activity of the hydrogen ion to the measured EMF in solution. D) Hydrogen ions must migrate through the glass membrane to produce an EMF. 3. You have been invited to a party at Vic Lineweaver's house, which is an awkward situation for you given your designs on his job. Even worse, several other guests in attendance clearly don't like each other. Bill Purcell does not want to sit next to Mike Jameson, who doesn't want to sit next to Jim Gotto, who doesn't want to sit next to Abby Rubenfeld, who doesn't want to sit by herself but prefers not to sit next to Vic Lineweaver, who doesn't want to sit next to Bill Purcell, who also wants to sit two chairs away from Karl Dean so he can listen in on what he's saying about Metro's proposed budget without having to participate in the conversation. At what spot in the table do you sit, and what is your recipe for Lamb Korma? 4. In 60,000 words or fewer, discuss the shifting dream-narrative in Finnegans Wake, James Joyce's final novel. Is the internal logic of the dream-narrative arbitrary or does it subtly draw on a series of provoking topics, including alchemy, philosophy and theology? Finally, when Finnegan returns to consciousness and the mourners try to convince him to go back to sleep, what is that supposed to symbolize and why? 5. Is Phil Bredesen a Republican or a Democrat? Explain. 6. Vividly illustrate the Catholic concept of the Holy Trinity that doesn't draw on any papal discussions of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Strive to be as skeptical as possible of this cornerstone of Catholic theology without offending any dogmatic Catholics. Also, start a light-hearted blog about the prophet Muhammad replete with humorous illustrations and cutting asides.

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