Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Blue Ribbon Sperm

Posted By on Wed, Sep 19, 2007 at 4:31 PM

So I'm checking out what passes for blogs over at and I come across this piece by some fella named Steve Simms, a self-described "attitude-engineer" out of Brentwood. His views on "Righticals" are not what give me pause, however. No, it's the title of one of his books (his bio's up in the right corner). Here it is: \\Your Sperm Won: Experiencing Your Value as a Championship Human Being\\.

You know you want to see this guy's website. Here it is. I especially recommend his thoughts on "Jesus toys," for example:

Have you heard about Walmart's talking Jesus toy? It sounds like a good idea to me.

Many small children have a natural love for the real Jesus, so I am sure that this toy will be loved as well. I fondly remember several toys from my childhood, but I never had a talking Jesus (or even a Cool Hand Luke style plastic Jesus).

I think it would have been nice to be able to listen to a toy Jesus quote Bible verses. It would have been fun to have my talking Jesus preach to my toy soldiers and to teach my cowboys and Indians how to love each other. I would have liked to have my toy Jesus heal my other toys.

My toy Jesus would have been great in the bath tub. He could have walked from one toy boat to the other. And when the toy boats were being pulled down the drain, toy Jesus could have spoken and calmed the whirl pool.

I think it would have been very moving to reenact the crucifixion with the toy Jesus and child like faith. And how joyful it would have been to bring toy Jesus out of the tomb alive to celebrate with his disciples.

No, by the way, I really don't think it's a joke. But you can draw your own conclusions.

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