Thursday, May 31, 2007

Git Yer Butts Outta Here!

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 4:29 PM

It's one thing for The Melting Pot to ban smoking. It's still another thing for Sperry's to extinguish the habit. But when the White Trash Cafe sends out a statement like the one below, you gotta figure you're well past the tipping point:

The White Trash Cafe- Now 100% Smoke Free (Except for the Kitchen)
The White Trash Cafe after a 2 week trial run announces "we are now officially 100% smoke free although you are still free to dip and chew." The cafe's policy had already been to ask guests not to smoke when there were babies, small children and/or oxygen tanks present. And we have noticed that although many of our regular customers and staff are smokers the transition to "smokeless" has been smooth and without any significant grumbling. We plan to see if we can turn our ashtrays into some sort of art or perhaps have a yard sale. Lynn Batey, owner 615-383-0109

If. You're. Thinking. About. Speeding. In. Nashville...

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 3:57 PM


Clement runs out of ideas

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 3:53 PM

In an amazing display of brain power, Bob Clement has produced two ideas in a single day! (Good thing our computers were plugged in to surge protectors.)

"Today, as idea #29," his campaign reports, "he announced that he will constantly solicit ideas from the people of Nashville ..." And you thought he was running out of steam.

Then only nanoseconds later came Idea No. 30—Clement pledges to constantly solicit ideas from the business people of Nashville. (Similar to Idea No. 29 but more finely tuned.)

Campaign spokesman Ben Hall says Clement took off Memorial Day so he had to come up with two ideas in one day to keep his widely heralded promise of 30 Ideas in 30 Days. Now that it's over, a little joy is missing from our lives.

All Tomorrow's Potties

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 1:33 PM


This Loo Read won't help you walk on the wild side, but it will allow you to more easily enjoy the Scene in the "reading room."

(Via Gizmodo.)

Thursday's Hot Type

Posted By on Thu, May 31, 2007 at 11:11 AM

Fred plans to stir things up, and Americans love politicians who can act the part.

And speaking of acting, it looks like old Fred's giving up the day job.

Clarksville mayor to Miss Universe: "Howdy!"

Damn unions.

More trooper troubles.

It looks like all bets are off when it comes to Bettman.

Proposed smoking ban is a little too late for those currently gasping for air.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Fiddler's Folly

Posted By on Wed, May 30, 2007 at 3:21 PM

What happens when one of the world's greatest musicians plays the world's greatest music to rush-hour worker bees at a Washington, D.C. subway station? Not much.

Match Game '07

Posted By on Wed, May 30, 2007 at 12:02 PM


Upon his arrival at the Pearly Gates, the first thing Charles Nelson Reilly asked St. Peter was, "Where's the [BLANK]?"

Regal Treatment

Posted By on Wed, May 30, 2007 at 11:23 AM

It's 2:30 p.m., you're watching Shrek the Third in some dank distant flyspeck of a 20-screen megaplex with two kids, and suddenly a huge red blotch onscreen indicates that the film is burning up in the projector. In the old days, you'd have to march the kids down the deserted hallway all the way back to the lobby.

But no more, thanks to Regal Cinemas. Yesterday the Knoxville-based giant announced that its Regal Guest Response System (RGRS) is now available in 114 theaters across the country, including Nashville's Hollywood Cinema 27, Opry Mills Cinema 20 and Green Hills Cinema 16.

RGRS is essentially a pager given to one audience member per auditorium. It has four buttons that indicate problems with sound, picture, piracy or some other disturbance—as at the late show of Bug Monday night where someone hollered, "This is bullshit!" (It might have been me.) The page goes to a manager, indicating both the kind of problem and the specific auditorium.

This is an awesome idea (though I might disagree if I were a manager fielding non-stop buzzes from some trigger-happy wisenheimer in Screen 27). In fact, I suggest additional pages that could fix a variety of movie problems. Press 5 for Idiot Plot Twist That Cancels Out Entire Movie. Press 6 for Sappy Music Montage. Press 7 for Go Back In Time And Rip 60 Pages Out Of The Screenplay For Pirates 3.

American Beauty

Posted By on Wed, May 30, 2007 at 11:05 AM

Miss USA and Tennessee's own Rachel Smith had a little trouble (OK, a lot of trouble) in the T-and-A fest that is the Miss Universe pageant, which was held Monday in Mexico City. In the parade of national costumes at the contest's opener, the Belmont grad hit the stage in full-on Elvis gear. And was booed. Horribly.

It only got worse. In the evening gown portion, she tripped and, in a bizarre flash of sequins and stilettos, smacked her ass on the stage. Still, she she soldiered on, picked herself up and slapped on that painful beauty-queen grin at lightning speed. Heck, she even made the top five and moved on to the final interview—where she was met with even more heckling from the crowd. Reports attribute the audience hostility to U.S. unfriendliness to illegal immigrants.

The whole charade definitely was a train wreck. But the drama did make all that painful pageant pomp much more bearable.

Wednesday's Hot Type

Posted By on Wed, May 30, 2007 at 10:57 AM

The thrill is gone.

Fired? Resigned? Whatever, you still messed around with a porn star during a traffic stop.

It's (almost) official: Fred Thompson to hit the campaign trail in his red pickup.

Now, let the merciless mocking of this "right-wing dreamboat" begin.

Local sword swallower is apparently a comedian, too ... complains of having a "sword throat" and calls himself a "human kebab."

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