When you showed up at my car window on Highway 70 and asked me for a dollar the other day, I wanted to oblige. Because who could resist your computer-printed Needy Mom Needs Help
sign? But when you stopped to answer your flip phone, I hesitated. And when I noticed your chunky gold jewelry and silk leopard-print top, well, it pretty much sealed the no-dollar deal. You're new at this, aren't you, Needy Mom?
I know times have been hard since Off Fifth closed at 100 Oaks Mall. Trust me, there've been days when I've almost resorted to cutting Hecht's coupons in the newspaper myself. But if you're going to stand in the middle of a highway asking for cash, at least
have the decency to wear, say, those Ugg boots you have stashed in the back of your closet. Because then I totally
would've realized the extent of your suffering.