Last night I was watching the Tennessee legislative report and, for some reason, muted the volume so the closed-caption text appeared on the screen. I have long known the legislature was a hotbed of malapropisms, and I have even celebrated the unique twang with which our senators and representatives pronounce "TANNassee." That said, it was jarring to see the words of our elected leaders written out in closed captioning just as they were spoken:
Guys, IT IS NOT A PHYSICAL NOTE! If a bill is going to cost the state some money, it requires a FISCAL NOTE. For the love of Jeff Foxworthy, our budgeting process sounds like an outtake from Deliverance when y'all get on about the physical notes. A physical note would be if you wrote something on an actual piece of paper. Or if your gym teacher wrote a memo about how crappy you were at doing sit-ups.
And another thing, if you all approve it with one voice, it is UNANIMOUS. If a gym teacher writes a physical note and doesn't sign her name, that's ANONYMOUS. I am not making this up. Latin and Greek are on my side.
Finally—and I can't blame this on the legislators; this gaff lands squarely on the shoulders of the closed caption transcription staff—it's PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE, not PARLIMENT (sic) TREE procedure. We are talking about the generally accepted practices for running meetings of large organizations, not about landscaping outside the House of Commons. Please make a note of it—physical, mental or otherwise.