You know that Seinfeld
episode in which a guy taunts George with a laser pointer and George freaks out and worries that the laser might hit him in the eye and then bounce back and forth between his glasses and his eyeball and blind him? I think about that every time I see a laser pointer.
Now I have something new to worry about. The medical director for the New York Marathon warns runners not to drink too much water
unless they want to die
. Cue dramatic music.
He knows the danger: in their zeal to avoid becoming dehydrated, runners may end up drinking so much that they dilute their blood. Water rushes into cells, including cells of the brain. The swollen brain cells press against the skull, and the result can be fatal. The resulting condition is known as hyponatremia - too much water.
The rest of the article goes on to tell the true story of a Boston Marathon runner who succumbed to hyponatremia. And while it is a scary and sad story, the one thought that came to my mind was: he drank an entire gallon of water before a race?
I run almost every day after work. Not a marathon, but a few miles. I might have a drink of water before I run, but running with a stomach full of anything ֠water, cheeseburgers, it doesn't matter ֠is extremely uncomfortable. Diluted blood aside, how can he run comfortably with so much water in his system? What was he thinking?
Also, this story reemphasizes my suspicion that everything is going to kill me. My cell phone will give me a tumor. No it won't, yes it will, well, maybe it will but probably not. Eggs are bad for me. No they aren't, yes they are, no they aren't. Wine is good for me but all other alcohol is bad. No wait, other alcohol is okay too. Smoking kills, but so does second-hand smoke, and I can't escape that one. Don't wear baggy pants when you ride a bicycle unless you want them to get caught in the spokes and cause a horrible accident. If you keep making that face, it's going to freeze that way. I'm pretty sure that, given the chance, even my fleece pajamas will strangle me in my sleep. And what sounds more harmless than fleece? Nothing.
Basically, we're all going to die horrible, gruesome deaths.
Have a good weekend!