Friday, February 25, 2005


Posted By on Fri, Feb 25, 2005 at 3:36 PM

I recently got cable television (which you can actually read about here) and have been thoroughly enjoying my new life of lethargic luxury. I mostly watch reruns of old shows, but a couple weeks ago I discovered a new Comedy Central game show that just may be the best thing in the history of television. Well, maybe not. But it's a heck of a lot better than Jeopardy! The show is called Distraction. The contestants have to answer very easy trivia questions while doing something painful, difficult or gross. For instance, once they had to answer questions about movies while putting rubber bands around their faces. Later, stunt men broke beer bottles over the contestants' heads whenever they tried to buzz in for an answer. And last night, they had to sack-race and leap-frog with saggy, naked people. It was brilliant.

Why didn't Alex Trebek think of this? I didn't care one way or the other about Ken Jennings, but maybe I would have tuned in to watch him if he had to win Daily Doubles while a muscular man with tattooed forearms shocked him with a taser. Cause that's what happens on Distraction.

The best part of the show comes at the end, when the "winner" competes to win a prize. Sometimes they give the winner a car, but make him/her answer trivia questions in order to receive the car in good condition. Answer incorrectly, and the car's headlights get smashed in. Get another one wrong and the contestants who lost pour cans of paint all over the hood of the car. Windshields are scratched, doors are keyed, and I think it's absolutely hilarious.

For a while, I didn't understand why anyone would want to be on this show. Who wants to win a beat up car with no windshield? But last night, they offered up a Vespa scooter for a prize. I'd put clothespins on my face and race saggy nudists for a Vespa.

Of course, no one won the Vespa. They had a room full of prizes ֠a plasma TV, iBook, Vespa, electric guitar and Rice-A-Roni. If the guy answered a question wrong, he picked a random detonator and blew up one of his prizes. The Vespa was the first to go, of course. They BLEW UP A VESPA. Distraction really is brilliant. As "Sean Connery" so often says....Suck it, Trebek.

Oh, and if any of you are looking for a new job, you really need to read this CNN article.

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