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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Photo of the Week: Urban Outfitters' 'Vintage' Men's 'Punk' Leather Jacket

Posted By on Tue, Sep 24, 2013 at 1:26 PM

God Save the Tweens
  • God Save the Tweens

From the Department of Yes This Is Actually Really Real comes this gem of an item: Urban Outfitters is currently listing the "crazy awesome vintage moto leather jacket from the 1990s" that you see above. (I've been given conflicting definitions of the term "vintage," though many sources say that an article of clothing as little as 20 years old can in fact be defined as such.) As you can see, the jacket is "topped with hand-painted punk logos at like Sex Pistols and Crass [sic]." Now, the listing says that UO only has this one totes authentic jacket available ("so get it or regret it!"), but a handful of obviously in-the-know, sardonic commenters have given the item some notably hilarious "reviews." Some quick highlights:

"Can't wait to wear this to my next Blink 182 concert, they're so hardcore!!! PUNK FOR LIFE! YAY!!!!"

"When i put this jacket on my Easter gift list, i was keeping it punk as all get out."

"... after doing some research I was pleasantly surprised that some of the bands are quite famous."

"The perfect handwriting on this garment has really helped me to get in touch with my punk side. Rebel! Be neat! Smash the system!"

"I guess I didn't notice it at first but this jacket says A*S*S* on it really huge on the back. All the kids at school made fun of me."

The Vintage Men's Punk Leather Jacket is available for $385. Hat-tip goes to Stone Fox co-proprietor Elise Tyler, who posted the listing on her Facebook page.

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Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Reality Show Watch: Thicker Than Water

Posted By on Wed, Sep 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM

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The charming photo pictured above is a screengrab from Bravo’s website for their new reality program, Thicker Than Water. What, pray tell, is this show about? According to a press release from the network, it …

[…] follows Ben and Jewel Tankard, self-dubbed “The Black Brady Bunch.” This southern family integrates their strong religious conviction with their penchant for the finer things in life.

I don’t recall The Brady Bunch being particularly religious, or wealthy, or prolific gospel musicians (like Tankard), or motivational speakers for the NBA (also like Tankard), or advocates for private aviation (oh, that Tankard!) but they are a blended family, so please, carry on:

With the belief that “God wants us all to be millionaires,” the Tankards aim to be the best and brightest in everything they do.

Oh, He does? I can see how the prosperity gospel would be attractive for people who enjoy things like croquet and owning airplanes, and anyone with a cursory knowledge of theology knows that the Bible is full of contradictory statements. Why listen to the rare explicitness of 1 Timothy 6:10 or Matthew 6:24 when you can double down on whatever is happening in Malachi 3:10?

The series is described as “Nashville-based,” but don’t worry guys: According to Ben’s treasure of a website (there’s a section titled “Benspirations”), they clearly operate out of Murfreesboro.

Thicker Than Water debuts on Bravo Nov. 10.

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Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Spurgeon’s General Warning: Steven Tyler Eats at Noshville

Posted By on Tue, Sep 10, 2013 at 8:30 AM

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(Note: Steven Tyler was recently in Nashville. The following is a fictional account of his afternoon spent eating lunch in Midtown.)

Suddenly, Steven was thinking about his children.

The father of four had been idly scrolling through his phone when he came across a contact labeled “LIVV.” For a second he considered correcting the typo, but soon decided that there was no point. This contact hadn’t rung him in ages, nor had any of the others. A grotesque life of self-centered hedonism had led him here, alone, in the booth of a diner in a city that meant nothing to him. Steven Tyler, 65 years old, had never even seen his grandchild.

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Monday, September 9, 2013

Vince Gill Confronts Westboro Baptist Church Members Outside Kansas City Show

Posted By on Mon, Sep 9, 2013 at 4:48 PM

It's become common knowledge that the bigots of Fred Phelps-led Kansas-based congregation Westboro Baptist Church are just about the biggest trolls under the sun. They show up to picket all sorts of events — from soldiers' funerals to pop concerts — in wildly inappropriate fashion, brandishing signs that sport vile slogans like "God hates fags" and "Fags doom nations" in hopes of gaining attention from the media. Some say it's a money-making scam, but others aren't so sure. Either way, as a member of the media I'm sorry to say that the part about getting people to talk about them frequently works. So forgive me as I spill more digital ink over America's most loathed and loathsome group of degenerate scumbags — but this is too good not to share.

Nashville's own Vince Gill — easily one of the hardest-working singers, songwriters and guitar-slingers in the country music game — is currently touring in support of Bakersfield, his recent release with steel master Paul Franklin. On Sunday night, Gill's tour brought him to Kansas City's Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts. Seeing as how it was in Westboro Baptist's neck of the woods — and seeing as how his current marriage to fellow performer Amy Grant is neither Gill's nor Grant's first — members of the WBC showed up at the Kauffman Center to protest the show.

YouTube user Sienna Stylish posted the above video of Gill confronting the Westboro Baptist Church members outside the Kauffman Center. Sienna Stylish's profile says she's "dedicated to exposing the insanity of the Westboro Baptist 'Church,' " though it's entirely possible this person is a WBC operative posing as a freedom fighter in order to gain more clicks — that's exactly the sort of thing those people do. Anyhow, as you can see in the video, Gill says he "came out to see what hatred really looked like in the face." A WBC member filming the exchange asks Gill, "Don't you know that divorce plus marriage equals adultery?" Gill responds by saying, "Don't you know that you fuckers are lucky that you don't have a sign that says something about my wife?" Gill goes on to say, "[Jesus Christ] said a lot of stuff about forgiveness, about grace — you guys don't have any of that." He then calls one member "a big dipshit" before asking, "Are any of you guys Phelpses, or are you like the C Team?"

So, again, I'm sorry to give these guys more press, but I'm proud to call Vince Gill a fellow Nashvillian.

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Thursday, August 29, 2013

'Ticked Off' Belle Meade News Reader Wants to 'Get Off' of Diarrhea Planet

Posted By on Thu, Aug 29, 2013 at 12:18 PM

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  • Photo via Ryan Ervin
A particularly hilarious little item comes our way this morning courtesy of local musician Ryan Ervin, and we're just going to ahead and file it in the Department of Best Things Ever. Local publishers GCA print a handful of newspapers — Nashville Today, Green Hills News, West Side News, Belle Meade News and a few others — that largely run the same content. Perhaps the most entertaining-slash-infuriating section in these papers is "Ticked Off," wherein fist-shaking Andy Rooney types complain about things like, according to Ervin, "traffic, high grocery prices and Obama."

This week, wedged in next to a letter directed at President Obama titled "No Credibility," is a letter written by an angry grandpa (or grandma) who obviously doesn't read the Scene. After explaining that "Ticked Off" is the "first thing I read in the newspaper every week" (thereby proving that he or she is indeed a seething cauldron of righteous rage), the ornery grandparent tells the story of visiting a "certain 8th Avenue record store" (are there any other than Grimey's?) and ... well, it's too priceless not to just quote directly:

I am ticked off at a certain 8th Avenue record store. I brought my grandson there to buy a record on Tuesday. I was pleasantly surprised to see that they still even make real records like we had back in the day.

But the record he wanted, displayed prominently for all to see was by a local band called "Diarrhea Planet."

The cover had a picture of a hand with a knife going through it. My grandson is 11 years old. I explained to him that both the cover and the name were disgusting, and I was having no part of it, and I told the clerk it was vile.

If we have to live on a "diarrhea planet" show me where to get off!

Just ... how even ... I just ... I can't. First of all, as I noted in my feature, DP's name falls "somewhere between Butthole Surfers and the aforementioned Fucked Up on the 'honestly not that bad' end of the Offensive Band Name Spectrum." Second, by "picture," this person means "cartoon." Third, fuck it, I can't say anything that's funnier than the letter itself. So why don't we see what DP frontman Jordan Smith has to say about it?

"I don't really know what to say other than that I feel bad for the kid," says Smith. "It brings back memories from my own childhood. I remember trying to coax my mom into letting my buy Lit's A Place in the Sun and her telling me no because there was a picture of the band members drinking bloody marys and beers on the back. Hopefully this 11-year-old has access to a computer where he can download the record without his grandpa harshing his mellow, or an older sibling who can sneak him a copy under the table."

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Monday, August 26, 2013

Your Opinion Is Wrong: Miley Cyrus' VMA Performance Was F*cking Awesome

Posted By on Mon, Aug 26, 2013 at 11:33 AM

Since apparently a few milliseconds after it ended, Miley Cyrus’ eight-seconds-past-live performance on MTV’s VMAs last night has set the Internet ablaze with news coverage — from legitimate news sites and a veritable social media contagion, largely comprised of hate spew, outrage and general disgust that has spilled well into this morning and is expected to last all day. In fact, some experts project Twitter gripes won’t plateau until well into the week. If that weren’t enough, a cavalcade of celebrities has come forward with their own horrific reactions, preempting their own pop-star brands from being contaminated by proxy.

As you well know, much like our pride and joy (and frequent inspiration of face-palming, “WTF?” head-scratching and accusations of trying just harder than what is socially acceptable), sleazy glitter-pop sensation and reality-TV star Ke$ha, Cyrus is a Nashville native and by the Cream’s wavering standards, perfectly acceptable blog fodder.

If K$ was a cautionary tale of what happens when we send a Tennessee temptress to the Hollywood Hills, Miley Cyrus is simply a statistic.

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Casting Call: Prospective Nashville Reality Series Seeks 'Hipster Rockers' With 'East Nashville Attitude'

Posted By on Mon, Aug 26, 2013 at 7:45 AM

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Are you "living the rock and roll life in Nashville," and do you say things like "I'm living the rock and roll life in Nashville"? Are you "passionate about the craft of singing and songwriting," but also passionate about getting yourself on the fast track to notoriety? Are you "sexy, driven, young and talented" and also willing to refer to yourself as sexy? Does your band have "East Nashville attitude"? How's your fedora collection?

Well, good news for edgy local songwriters and performers with the sort of itch some reality-TV exposure just might scratch: Producers of a prospective "Nashville Rocker / Hipster / Alt-Country Rock Documentary-Reality Series" recently posted a casting call on both Craigslist and producer Adair Kaiser's website. Kaiser & Co.'s casting checklist features the following: a female singer-songwriter, a female singer, a male music manager, a three- to five-piece band, and a male singer-songwriter who "knows how to touch a girl's soul with a song." Here's the post as it appears on Craigslist:

Producers are looking for cast members who are living these parts: not actors looking to play musicians.

1. Female singer/songwriter trying to make it in Music City - passionate about the craft of singing and songwriting. Schooled in Classic Country.

2. Female singer with attitude (songwriter a plus), driven to success. Schooled in Pop Country and/or Country Rock.

3. Male music manager and under 35 - homegrown and on the handsome side with a passion and no-holds-barred attitude to selling his client(s).

4. Band - 3 to 5 member - Alt Country or Rock or Country Rock or Americana band - unsigned with an East Nashville attitude. No straight up Country.

5. Solo male singer/songwriter with heart. Knows how to touch a girl's soul with a song.

If you are sexy, driven, young and talented as well as comfortable in front of the camera plus looking for major exposure, please apply here

After the jump you'll find the posting as it appears on Kaiser's site, where she notes that the male singer-songwriter should be "more Iggy Pop than pretty boy look" — because, of course, we know how many girls' souls Iggy touched with "I Wanna Be Your Dog."

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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Painting of the Week: Look at This Insane Portrait of Birdcloud

Posted By on Tue, Aug 13, 2013 at 11:29 AM

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  • Painting by Jonny Lashley

Presented without comment, here is tattoo artist Jonny Lashley's next-level painting of local joke-folk caterwaulers Birdcloud.

Anyway, Birdcloud doesn't have any upcoming shows listed anywhere. Is Birdcloud still a band? Have they become imprisoned in this painting, not unlike Vigo the Carpathian?

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Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The Best Show on WFMU Host Tom Scharpling to MC The Stone Fox's Nashville Outlines Aug. 3; [Update]

Posted By on Wed, Jul 24, 2013 at 2:57 PM

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Remember Nashville Outlines, that Stone Fox-hosted block party we told you about back in June? The all-day soiree on Saturday, Aug. 3, featuring bike tune-ups, a Third Man dunking booth, food trucks and performances from Bully, Clear Plastic Masks, D. Watusi, The Ettes, Fly Golden Eagle, James Wallace and the Naked Light, JP5, Kin Ship, Natalie Prass, Promised Land Sound, Ranch Ghost, Ri¢hie, Tristen, Weekend Babes and JEFF the Brotherhood? Well, great news for FOT, (i.e., Friends of Tom, i.e., fans of The Best Show on WFMU, which happens to be the best show on the New Jersey-based independent community radio station WFMU): Best Show host/comedian/music video director extraordinaire Tom Scharpling will MC the day's festivities.

Tickets aren't on sale now, because there are no tickets. The event is free. But if you're itching to RSVP, visit the Facebook event page here. And because why the hell not, let's listen to a classic Best Show clip in which Scharpling speaks to Rabid B. Hatchetman — a misguided Juggalo portrayed by Jon Wurster (who else?) — after the jump.

Update, July 31, 1:30 p.m.: As noted on the official Facebook event page, Scharpling has had to cancel his appearance due to unforeseen circumstances, though the rest of the event is still set to proceed as scheduled. Bummer to hear it. Hope to see Tom in our neck of the woods some other time.

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Photo of the Week: Limp Bizkit 'Gets' Diarrhea Planet

Posted By on Tue, Jun 25, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Rollin in Diarrhea Planet
  • Rollin' in Diarrhea Planet

From the Department of Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog-Flavored Diarrhea (ugh, sorry): As reported by Stereogum, Fred Durst and Wes Borland of noted clown brigade Limp Bizkit were recently photographed with a copy of Loose Jewels, local punk-poppers Diarrhea Planet's 2011 debut LP. See Borland holding his Jewels above. "Reports" Stereogum writer Tom Breihan, "I don’t have any idea why or how this happened." Breihan does know that the photo was taken "at a record store in Moscow." Limp Bizkit is indeed playing Moscow's Park Live festival this weekend, but a thorough scouring of the Internet appears to turn up no further information. Anybody know where this came from? Care to fill us in? Durst's lavalier mic suggest a "What's in My Bag"-esque record-store rundown.

Anyhow, the Planeteers are no strangers to being repped by superstars — be those stars Titus Andronicus' Patrick Stickles or just a rogue possum. Stereogum also unveiled DP's "Kids," an anthemic and earnest, laid-back, mid-tempo, surf-punk fist-pumper that will be featured on I’m Rich Beyond Your Wildest Dreams (out Aug. 20 via Infinity Cat). Stream that below as you bask in the glow of Fred Durst's wiry, professorial beard.

Update: As pointed out by former Scene intern Wrenne Evans, the photo was taken at this Russian record store. Here's where the photo was originally posted, complete with a caption that Google Translate translates as, "We were stopped by Limp Bizkit, they loved the record N*ggers and Diarrhea Planet!" If you're wondering about that random racial slur in there, that's the name of the band whose record Durst is holding.

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