En route to Chicago this weekend the Obnox / Unholy Two tour van ignited, caught on fire and burned to the ground on the side of the road in the middle of Shitsville IN... The van, gear, merch, records...EVERYTHING was lost. Because these guys are the real fucking deal, they are STILL playing their gig here on Wednesday. So, get your asses out for this show Nashville. You're gonna see some real shit. These guys deserve your support far more then any trust funded Safe Core band from Belmont ever will...
Swank goes on to say in an email that all door money will go straight to the touring acts. Cover is just $5, but I'll bet nobody would object to you throwing a little bit more cash their way if you're feeling generous — reason for the season, homies. Hear some brutal, punishing, punky noise rock courtesy of both Obnox and Unholy Two below.
Having played a killer show as Thunderbitch Saturday night at Ghot Wingz, Alabama Shakes' Brittany Howard and several members of new-to-Nashville rock 'n' rollers Clear Plastic Masks were having a pretty good weekend, it seems. Until, according to Serpents and Snakes Records general manager/A&R czar Seth Riddle, the crew was robbed at gunpoint on the front porch of Bomb Shelter owner/producer Andrija Tokic's Cleveland Park home.
According to Riddle, who was also present at Tokic's home, two hoodie-clad, "skinny little" teenage boys — who Riddle estimates as being approximately 15 or 16 years old — approached
Tokic, Howard and the rest with guns drawn. Thankfully, no one was injured, and the assailants got away with nothing more than a few dozen dollars in cash and some cellphones.* Riddle tells the Cream that he and his crew blew off the tension of being mugged by having a few drinks later that night at The Whigs/Weeks show at Mercy Lounge.
Armed robberies are certainly nothing new in this or any city, but it's not the sort of warm welcome we like to extend to out-of-towners and recent transplants. The Cream is grateful that no one was harmed last night. If anyone has any information that could lead to the identification of the assailants, please contact the authorities.
* That's what you get when you rob musicians, you dumb little punk-ass bastards.
Update: Tokic was not home at the time of the robbery, but rather at his studio. This incident took place at a private residence and not at the Bomb Shelter or any other studio.
But Music Row — or Music Ruh-Roh, as we like to call it in this ish — was not free from the stain of a Boner or two. If you digi-flip on through to page 2 of the cover package, you'll find a fistful of musical Boners from 2012:
* Darius Rucker was invited to join the Grand Ole Opry, which is all well and good, but a hashtag-chopping tweet left the Opry ... well, just read to find out.
* Then there was our old pal Intern Adam, who broke his ankle while sliding around on the Bridgestone rink and sued both the Predators organization and the arena.
* There was the Kenny Chesney-looking bro who got tossed from LP Field for looking like Kenny Chesney.
* We can't forget about poor old "Randy" Randy Travis doing that thing where he melts down all the time, bless his heart.
* And finally, Luke Bryan threw his underwear at people.
That last boner inspired the illustration by Noah Patrick Pfarr that you can see over there on the right. 'Twas a fine year in Boner Town, check it out.
So, cool. Right on. As mentioned in the team bio, Music City already has football, hockey and [minor league] baseball on lock, but we have a "gaping hole" (their words, not ours) where a basketball just might fit. Will they play real games? According to the team's schedule, they have matches slated against "Greenland," "Rhode Island," "Yukon Territory," etc. But what's this? A press release:
The Nashville Pioneers are Nashville's official basketball team. Official by default, as Nashville did not have a professional basketball team prior to us. Which is exactly why we exist! We like hockey and football fine, but we wanted a pro basketball team, therefore we had to start our own!
We couldn't afford to steal Kobe or LeBron away, so we used the vast pool of local talent that is unique to Nashville, actual basketball skills be damned! What we have here is a group of guys who represent some of Nashville's finest and most talented young creators and entrepreneurs.
We have pep rallies, post game celebrations, and yes, possibly even actual games already planned.
Nashville, we are your team. Won't you show your support and join us?
By definition, "post-game celebrations" most typically come, you know, after games. Perhaps The Pioneers wanted to get their cart all situated before they found a proper horse. Anyway. Games? When? Where? I'll show up. As previously mentioned, I've served as an official mascot on more than one occasion. Find me a giant paper-mâché pioneer head and I'm there.
* When he's not releasing his own ultra-psychedelic music videos, Nashvillian singer-songwriter Mikky Ekko is also apparently co-writing and contributing vocals on blockbuster pop songs. Superstar Rihanna released her Unapologetic last week, and among the album's 14 tracks is the Ekko-co-penned tearjerker ballad "Stay." While Ekko didn't show up for Rihanna's SNL performance of the song, the track has hit the Web and is making its rounds, so give that a listen above.
* We all know the buzz surrounding Ke$ha's forthcoming album Warrior — Wayne Coyne is all up on it, for starters — which will be out this Friday, Nov. 30. But did you know that fucking Iggy Pop is on it? Mr. James Osterberg Jr. co-wrote and performed on a Ke#ha track called "Dirty Love," and that is now on the Internet. It's a song about sexing (though not necessarily sexing ghosts, necessarily), in which the legendary proto-punker barks, "Cockroaches do it in garbage cans / Rug merchants do it Afghanistan / Santorum do it in a V-neck sweater / Pornos produce it, but a wild child can do it better." So ... cool. Curl up with your copy of Ke%ha's My Crazy Beautiful Life and click here (or follow me below) to hear the song about intercourse she wrote with a 65-year-old.
Would this book make the perfect gift for a person in your life who loves and is obsessed with all things Ke$ha? We believe so. (You could even wrap it in this!) If we hear about an author event at Parnassus, we'll let you know.
In the meantime, here are the 10 best quotes from the book, in order and without context:
As promised, South Africa's ambassadors of zef, Die Antwoord, stopped off at Marathon Music Works Friday night. They were supported by locals Five Knives and DJ Spice J, and trusty freelance Cream/Scene photog Diana Lee Zadlo (aka "Porkchop") caught some of the action for us. Did Five Knives wear masks? Did Spice J make a really awesome face? Is DA's Ninja still sporting his Fu Manchu? Did Yolandi Visser wear a shirt that says "Fuck You You Fuckin' Fuck" on it? These are all questions you can answer by clicking through to our slideshow right here or looking below.
Ah, that old cliche: "Remember when there was actually music on Music Television?" Thing is, no. Personally, I don't remember that. Thanks to programming like Beavis and Butt-head and everything on Comedy Central, cable was banned in my household until about 1999. And by then, the only music coverage/programming I ever got to see was ... I don't know, glimpses of nu-metal anarchy and ice cream-toting on-air meltdowns.
So no, the above Nashville-centric segment from an episode of MTV Sports isn't directly related to music. But dig those caddywhompus mid-'90s camera angles, authority-mocking guard-dog sound effects and crunchy background guitar tones! Anyway, it seems to be Nostalgia Day here on the Cream. Have a look to see some skateboarding Music City denizens (like this guy, for instance) busting the fattest gaps in town and hanging at places like Legislative Plaza — before joints like Sixth Ave. and the Skatepark existed. Different times, homies.
Hat-tip goes to Cream contributor Sean L. Maloney for sending along this gem.
Restaurantnews.com reports that the megastar singer is partnering with better-ingredients-better-pizza chain Papa John's for the release of her new album Red, due hot and fresh on Oct. 22.
Papa John’s is offering customers the opportunity to engage with the brand and Taylor’s new CD through a variety of channels, including the ability to purchase Red and a large one-topping pizza for $22 in-store or at www.papajohns.com beginning Oct. 22.
Available now at www.papajohns.com/taylorswift, customers can sample Taylor’s latest video on “Papa’s Pizza Party Playlist,” shop for Taylor merchandise packages, and enjoy a 25 percent savings on regular menu priced orders through the limited-time “Taylor Swift Pizza Party” offer, using the promo code 25RED for online orders. The offer is good through Oct. 21.
In February, Rolling Stone ran an interview with Toubin in which the 45-toting party purveyor spoke a bit about the accident. Wonderfully, miraculously, thankfully, Toubin was on track for a recovery. And indeed, he's back. Tomorrow night — as part of badass local joint The Stone Fox's official grand opening — Toubin will bring his Soul Clap Dance Off back to Music City. The Dance Off is exactly what it sounds like: People dance to choice soul and rock 'n' roll cuts from Mr. Toubin, and a panel of judges will select the winner. The grand prize is $100, and the judges include Jemina Pearl (The Ultras S/C), Brian Kotzur (Silver Jews, Tim Chad and Sherry, more), Elise Tyler (Stone Fox proprietor), Tonya Montana Coe (Goodbuy Girls), Jeremy Ferguson (Battle Tapes Recording) and ... ahem ... yours truly. No, I will not accept bribes, but you'll do well to shake your booty in my general direction. The more you pay attention to me, the more you will be rewarded.
The celebration (see the official Facebook event page right here) costs $5, and the competition won't start until 10 p.m. That gives you enough time to catch The Shins at Third Man, or maybe just a little of the SoundLand-sponsored show, but probably not any of Aesop at Exit/In.
Filmmaker Pablo Mediavilla Costa made a short doc about Toubin a couple years back. It's called New York Night Train, and you can watch that after the jump. Go ahead and do that.
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Porky and the Meat Beaters