Christmassy/Holiday-ish/Wintry. Call me old-fashioned, but I think songs around the holidays should sound like the holidays. What’s the fun of a Christmas No. 1 if it has almost nothing to do with Christmas? Highest points are going to seasonal songs. Deal with it.
Idiosyncratic. America doesn’t really “do” Christmas No. 1s, so extra consideration is going toward songs that are proudly, weirdly British. There are a few Americans peppered throughout the list, but for the most part, the charts did this job for me.
Good. I prefer “good” songs over “bad” songs. My judgments for “good” and “bad” are not up for debate. Shitty songs at the bottom, good songs at the top.
Cheesy. Christmas is a cornball holiday for people who love cornball shit. Nog? Sweaters? Carols? Come on. It’s deliciously lame. No one’s holiday traditions should ever be cynical, and that is why truly dorky songs shall be celebrated on this list.
Sincere. Sincerity will trump crassness, whether it is sincerity in how stoked you are about Baby Jesus or how stoked you are about parties. You will just have to trust my (arbitrary, mutable) judgment on this one.
Shall we get started?
But one interesting thing about Itoro's feature — and about nearly every other drop of ink and pixel spilled over West in recent months — is the vitriolic response it garnered. The same thing happened on the Scene's Facebook wall when we shared the Kanye show announcement. Some of the responses were extreme (and, dare I say, hyperbolic), calling the superstar names like "psychopath." People call the star egotistical, arrogant, overrated, on and on and on.
Here's the thing: Aren't pop stars supposed to be arrogant? Aren't they supposed to have outsized egos? Aren't they supposed to say outlandish things and co-opt crazy symbolism and make occasionally baffling (and in my opinion, utterly entertaining) pieces of performance art? We're all talking about every move the rapper makes, after all, and that's precisely what we demand from our pop idols: that they keep us enthralled, and inspire LOL-worthy parodies.
So why do people have such knee-jerk responses to West? I've heard many say that he's untalented, and that's just flat-out wrong. Whether or not you're a fan of West's music, he's got an assortment of undeniable rap-pop gems under his belt, from Yeezus' "Black Skinhead" to The College Dropout's "Jesus Walks" and "Through the Wire," not to mention about half of the stuff on Watch the Throne. The guy HAS talent. So he's not your cup of tea, and he runs his mouth too much for your liking. That's fine. But isn't there something a little disconcerting about how personally offended some people seem to be merely by West's existence? I consider John Mayer a pretty intolerable stain on the fabric of American music, but I never find myself flying into fits of blind rage in comments sections over him (even when he says genuinely racist shit).
What I need to know is this: Why do people get their panties in such a twist over this guy? Tell me how you really feel about Kanye West. He's hardly the first rapper or pop star to compare himself to a god. He's not the first musician to cross over into fashion or marry an oft-maligned attractive person. He's definitely not the first celebrity to give his kid a silly name. So what's the deal? Tell me how you really feel.
Last night, Kanye West's Yeezus Tour took over the Barclays Center in Brooklyn. Apparently it went down just as you might expect, with plenty of righteous ranting from a diamond-mask-adorned Ye (amen). That's to be expected. But the novel bit was this: Absolute legends A Tribe Called Quest opened with a reportedly excellent set, and according to the Tribesmen themselves, it will be their second-to-last performance ever (the last is slated to go down Sunday at Kanye's Madison Square Garden appearance).
Well, bummer that ATCQ won't be opening for Kanye at his Nashville stop next week, but how's this for a consolation? Jet-setting Nashville resident Jack White was at last night's show, and according to this photo posted to Q-Tip's Facebook page (and above), he did some backstage hanging with Tribe, Yasiin Bey (formerly Mos Def), Busta Rhymes and a rather brawny-looking Dave Chappelle (dude is ripped now, in case you didn't know).
So, who here thinks White was there representing his label in an attempt to get Tribe to come cut a Third Man album in Nashville? A pipe dream, perhaps, but certainly not the most impossible collab to imagine.
Have you guys been watching Boardwalk Empire this season? It's really good! We've got the exceptionally coked-up antics of Al Capone, the feud between Chalky White (yay!) and Dr. Narcisse Valintin (boo!) and, uh, whatever Nucky gets up to ... hanging out in Tampa, I guess? Of course, my favorite character is disabled veteran/occasional murderer-for-hire/hopeless romantic Richard Harrow. His gentlemanly nature and talent for sharp-shooting despite faulty depth perception have won my simple woman's heart. Remember his happy-family dream book? Remember when he almost killed himself in the woods? Remember his killing spree to save that unfortunate-looking child? Please find below a short tribute to HBO's best character.
"They confronted me and put a dog collar behind my neck and repeatedly burned me with cigarettes," Cooper said in an interview with News Channel 5.
Young and Hutson discovered Cooper, who once lived with Young, had sold the pair 16 counterfeit tickets to a Jan. 18 Justin Bieber concert, according to a Rutherford County Sheriff’s Office incident report from July 20, 2012. ...
Young and Hutson reported they bought 16 tickets at $100 each from Cooper, but became suspicious, Sheriff’s Detective Richard Brinkley wrote in the police report.
“He took them to Bridgestone Arena and confirmed his suspicion there,” Brinkley reported.
As we all know, being burned by cigarettes is approximately one notch above being forced to attend a Justin Bieber concert on the torture scale. Rimshot or whatever.
I am NOT thinking of:
"Tennessee Players and Thurston Invite You To You Won’t Believe It! Book Prevue Party, Nashville, Tennessee," the release read. Wut? I read on: "Celebrating the Release Of Thurston’s Autobiography. You’ll enjoy a time of human interest With a fine cast of characters Reading from the book of pure Americana. Your Host Mark Twain."
Sure, the random capitalization seemed a bit dubious, and the Mark Twain part was of course particularly WTF-y. But former Sonic Youth frontman Thurston Moore will indeed be bringing his post-Sonic experimental rock outfit Chelsea Light Moving to Nashville's Exit/In on Nov. 11. Is Moore planning on releasing some as-yet-unannounced autobiography while he's in town with CLM? He has, after all, already edited a book about mixtapes, and I personally know scores of people who'd probably pay good money for a Moore autobiography ...
Below, I've included five excerpts pulled from the Wikipedia pages of five bands and removed the band names. Your job, fair reader, is to match the band with description. And also to watch that Bachman-Turner Overdrive video. Yikes.
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The link seems to be down. And by the way how come nothing about Lincoln…
Thanks Lance.. Let us know if you wanna come out tonight on us... Anthem
This is the first time I've heard "Chicken in Black," so I'm no apologist, but…