Below you will find a (hopefully) comprehensive listing of every musical guest to make an appearance on The Simpsons to date, in descending order of funniness. The ranking is not up for debate, so don’t even start with me. I apologize in advance for terrible, terrible quality of the video clips. Did you know Clarence Clemons was on the show? Neither did I, until this exercise! I’m learnding.
Posted
by Seth Graves on
Mon, May 21, 2012 at 2:56 PM
It’s no keen observation that rock 'n' roll derives most of its appeal from the innate, unstoppable force behind it. But as powerful as its raw power can be, it is not invincible. Because it is generated from the loins of mere mortals, it, like us, is subject to contamination. I’ve spent the last hour chugging coffee and pinpointing five of rock 'n' roll’s worst enemies.
Perhaps by now, as citizens of the Internet, you've caught wind of the terribly entertaining and occasionally eerily accurate Tumblr known as Facemath. It is, of course, what it sounds like, and exceptional examples include this one, this one and this slightly Nashville-y one. The latter example got me thinking about what Nashville rock-scene denizens might make for good variables in one of these equations. ("Variables" is right, right? I'm rusty on my Algebra.)
So anyhow, as you'll see above, I feel like Natural Child's Seth Murray (panel one) plus Ben Todd of D. Watusi and local blog Nashville's Dead (panel two) kind of equals Ranch Ghost's Josh Davis (panel three). Yes? No? Got a better Nashvillian example?
I’m one of those bitter workaday people who are stuck in a hellish commute five days out of seven — I don’t like cars, I don’t like driving, I don’t like traffic, and I don’t like wasting my time and money. Not blessed with a fancy car stereo, a lot of my driving time is spent listening to your basic radio stations that play the same 40 songs on rotation. It only recently occurred to me that one band, every single time they come on, manages to elevate my inner monologue from “Fuck this town, I’m quitting my job and moving somewhere with a subway” to “Hooray! Turn it up! I don’t care if those strangers watch me sing along!” That band? The Doobie Brothers, my friend. Instant good mood, every single time. And here’s how they do it:
Hell, some days these things just write themselves.
Above you can see a video of lead Fruit Jonas Stein on his quest for the perfectly (or at least, most intensely) seasoned crawfish. From rounding up the mudbugs at the Nashville Farmers' Market's Louisiana Seafood Company to stuffing the googly-eyed little bastards into a pot and sending them all straight to hell, the video — which was shot by local videographer and Clutters/Mystery Twins frontman Doug Lehmann — is your how-to guide on Louisiana lobsters, as Mr. Stein calls them. In addition to members of the local rock 'n' roll scene — from the Fruits themselves to JEFF's Jamin Orrall and more — the video also features the strains of "Ain't the Only One Havin' Fun," which will be featured on Butter. Now, enjoy some fine innuendo, and if your eyes try to keep kosher, avert them. Jonas, suck that head, you magnificent bastard!
I am passably smart about a lot of classy shit: the high points of art nouveau design, how long one is allowed to wait to send a thank-you note, and how much to tip a prostitute. One fancy thing I am not well acquainted with, however, is classical music. If I hear something I like on my classy-ass NPR, it’s hard to ever find it again — you can’t really Google for melodies (yet), and if there are words, they are almost always foreign words, which do not count.
Unless! That song has been featured prominently in a television show or major motion picture. And you’re probably the same. Thanks to Bugs Bunny, we all knew “Ride of the Valkyries” before we had any concept of who Wagner was. But I’m not talking about “Canon in D” for a wedding scene, or films set in the classical era or about particular people: Immortal Beloved is going to have Beethoven and Amadeus is full of Mozart.
There are literally hundreds of examples, but below are a handful of pieces that I can’t disassociate from certain movies. Can you guess which films I’m thinking of? I’ll give you a hint: All of the movies are from the 1990s. And do you, dear reader, have any favorites or super-strong associations? Get classy with it.
Posted
by Adam Gold on
Wed, May 2, 2012 at 6:07 PM
Worlds collide.
Are you ready for some football nonsense? Well then I hope you’re sitting down, because I’ve got BREAKING NEWS: Pop star Justin Timberlake and his crew (which included actress Jessica Biel, his fiancée) hung out with Hank Williams Jr. at a concert the country star played in Mississippi last week! Why? Oh, just because. This according to a press release sent the Scene’s way yesterday, commemorating the earthshaking backstage kick-it.
Once a week, an handful of Scene staffers meet to determine what upcoming events are worthy of coverage in our Critics' Picks section. We rule out anything that's being covered elsewhere — in the film section, the music section, et al. — then we eliminate the chaff, and then Picks editor Laura Hutson assigns the rest. As it turns out, winner of two Academy Awards (and of three Golden Raspberry awards, each for "Worst Actor") Kevin Costner and his band, Modern West, will perform tomorrow, April 14, at Exit/In. As a matter of fact, the show is already sold out. We zinged KC — perhaps somewhat inelegantly — when he played Opry at The Ryman a few years back, but maybe he deserved that a little more. Headlining your own bill at a rock club is one story; masquerading as an outfit that is worthy of The Ryman's stage is another. Anyway, needless to say, during our Critics' Picks meeting, Costner's shit landed squarely in the "chaff" pile.
But are Kevin Costner and Modern West really all that bad? In a world that has seen the likes of Keanu Reeves' Dogstar, Russell Crowe's 30 Odd Foot of Grunts, Michael Pitt's Pagoda and Billy Bob Thornton's Boxmasters, are KC and MW truly the worst of the worst, as far as leading man-fronted bands go? Let me dive in and find out ...
I spent last weekend in New Orleans, a bizarre but lovely little place where you can drink in the streets and smoke in the buildings — everything is upside down! And I just found out that I’m going to be in Asheville, NC, this weekend, a place I know nothing about. According to Wikipedia, it’s "home to the United States National Climatic Data Center (NCDC), which is the world's largest active archive of weather data.” Fascinating! I didn’t intend to start road-tripping it across America so soon: After all, I’m still saving my pennies for a trip to Korea. What to do in Asheville, y’all? Vacation!
I’m heading out to see the dentist not too long from now. Turns out that somehow chomping off half of a cap is a bad thing. I guess it’s my fault for eating rock tacos. I’m really, really not looking forward to this. I’ve never been afraid of dentists — I’m just not ready to hear the lecture about how I need to stop smoking, floss more and stop eating rock tacos. But I’m kind of stoked about getting this cap repaired. I’m gonna eat allllll the pillz!