• Maybe I should take the bus ...

I very intentionally waited until April 1 had passed in order to post this caption contest. Why? Because Turquoise Jeep — the collective known for creating such Internet gems as "Lemme Smang It" and "Did I Mention I Like To Dance" — isn't exactly known for its earnestness, and this post (unlike yesterday's ICP announcement) is not a joke. Turquoise Jeep will play this Thursday, April 4, at Mercy Lounge, and local MC (and fellow libidinous weirdo) Cashatt will open.

So here's what's up: If this is something you'd like to witness but would rather not pay for, you're in luck! We're giving away a pair of guest-list spots to Thursday night's show, and all you have to do is dream up the funniest caption imaginable for the image you see above. Just leave your caption down there in the comments section, and be sure to include your email address in the appropriate field — we won't publish your address, but we'll need it in order to contact our winner. We'll pick our favorite caption on Thursday (day of show!) around noon, so be sure to keep an eye out for an email from us. All right, everybody ready? Go!

Update: We have our winner. Thanks for playing!

Here’s a fun item for Features fans on a lazy, rainy Friday: Middle Tennessee’s favorite power-pop quartet is putting its own spin on NCAA March Madness brackets, calling on fans to pit their 16 favorite Features songs against each other in a four-round bout to determine the band’s best anthem.

So far, two Features gems — “Thursday” and “Circus” — have made the Cream’s recurring Best Local Rock Songs series. Will those be the two to face off in the final showdown? Or will the glory go to staples like “Lions” and “Exhibit A”? Perhaps the newfangled rookie rocker “This Disorder” will pull an out-of-left-field victory.

Click here to vote, and take a look after the jump to see the list of first-round contenders.

A note on the selection process: After spending a long time embedded in the MySpace era of the local scene, I’ve put a bit of distance between myself and Nashville, both literally and figuratively (Ed. note: Sullivan now lives in Anchorage, Ak., where he works for the Anchorage Daily News. He also sometimes refers to Cream editor D. Patrick Rodgers as "D-Pat"). So when D-Pat asked if I wanted to pick five songs for the series, I interpreted “best” to mean the songs from Nashville bands that I remember and still listen to on a regular basis. Disclaimer: My memory is terrible.

• Logo by Mike Clausius

From the very center of the souped-up hamlet known as Nashville — where he looks down at the smokestacks of the haberdashers and cobblers and cheese factories — comes Chris Crofton and his crew. It's a brand-new blast of Crofton Show. Episode 128. Get it after the jump.

But on to the important thing: my opinions! Of the five selections in this, the 10th installment in our ongoing Best Local Rock Songs Ever series, two are (hopefully) representative of the bands’ rock catalogs as a whole, and the other three are instances of very specific songs I enjoy that could be further drilled down into ever tinier genre niches. Here we go.

• Logo by Mike Clausius

Wherein Crofton and crew dust off an ol' viral vid chestnut and explore the history of the Potato Famine in honor of St. Patrick's Day. You've got to find out when the Potato Famine was, fools! Episode 127. Dig in after the jump.

• Jesus! Is that guy wearing Birkenstocks!

If you read this week's music section, then you saw fellow Creamster Adam Gold's fine piece on Bad Religion's latest effort, True North. Gold gets the MVP award on that one, because it was a sub-in for the originally slated preview for that show: a great story by Sean L. Maloney on openers Against Me! and their frontwoman Laura Jane Grace. Well, Against Me! had to cancel, and Gold bottom-of-the-ninth'd that Bad Religion action.

But enough shop talk. None of you wants to hear that. What you do want to hear, I'd guess, is how to win a pair of free tickets to Bad Religion's show tomorrow night at War Memorial Auditorium with openers Polar Bear Club and locals The Whigs. I'll tell you how: caption contest! Usual rules apply. Come up with the most side-splitting caption you can for the image you see above, and post it down there in the comments section. Be sure to include your email address in the appropriate field — we won't publish it, but we'll need it in order to contact our winner. We've got a quick turnaround on this one, but we'll do our best to pick a winner by mid-afternoon tomorrow. Say, roughly 3 p.m.? You've got almost a full day! But please be sure to keep an eye on your email. If we don't hear from our winner within an hour or so, we'll have to go with the next person in line. OK, everybody savvy? Ready to do it? Go!

Update: We have our winner. Thanks for playing!

So, who else was in Austin last week? I'm sure my fellow South by Southwesterners are just raring to drink beer and watch some live music, right? Plenty of options tonight, from St. Lucia & Co. to Andy T. and Nick Nixon to Left Lane Cruiser. You've also got a little bit of Local Natives in the mix. The Natives are playing tonight at Marathon Music Works with Superhumanoids, and our boy Stephen "Goose" Trageser did the pick thing. Goose, if you will:

Hummingbird, the sophomore release from California indie rockers Local Natives, retains the complex but dance-friendly rhythms that marked their 2010 debut Gorilla Manor, as well as the big vocal harmonies that earned them justifiable comparisons to Fleet Foxes. A pervasive nervous energy invaded the few empty spaces on GM, but with bassist Andy Hamm’s departure and The National’s Aaron Dessner signing on as producer, the tempos have dropped a notch, and those spaces have become wide and contemplative. That’s not to say the riffs and big choruses don’t still get hearts and fists pumping, but tunes like the pensive “Colombia” make heavy hitters like “Wooly Mammoth” and lead single “Breakers” drive even harder by comparison. Local Natives did me a solid with a nice interpretation of “Warning Sign,” one of my favorite Talking Heads obscurities; tourmates Superhumanoids follow this introspective path to its logical conclusion, vis-à-vis their dreamy, Cocteau Twins-esque cover of The Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Sedated." —STEPHEN TRAGESER

Starts at 9 p.m., and $18 will get you in.

• Logo by Mike Clausius

Texas is the reason Cream Captain D. Patrick Rodgers isn't here to supply the proper out-of-context quotes for the tags on this post, but you still get a lucky face-full of The Chris Crofton Show for your Friday morning. And hey, while you've got the CCS on the cranium, why not go help Kickstart the franchise? They're three-fifths of the way there with 15 days to go, and three times five is 15, so math. Meanwhile, here's Episode 126. Hear it after the jump.

I have no idea what Nashville was actually like in the '70s, but I'm going to guess it was a lot like today, only with fewer mustaches and fewer people trying to sell artisan, hand-crafted douche-canoes or whatever it is the kids are into lately. And I guess Nashville in the '70s probably didn't have a lot of bloggers, all the DJs were on the radio rather than on their iPads, and they didn't have their own soap opera. (Unless you count Hee Haw, but that's a can of worms I'm not willing to open.)

I suppose that Nashville was still a strictly country town at this point, or at least strictly country in a way visible to most outsiders, and even with the benefit of hindsight it's hard to suss out a rock scene in '70s Nashville — from what I can tell it was bedroom weirdos, studio weirdos, out-of-town bands and Dobie Gray. But at the same time, this was a point when country and rock were swapping spit pretty much nonstop, the songwriter/studio team/star system was at its pinnacle commercially and critically, and there were a lot of wild people just, y'know, hanging out. I guess, anyway. Like I say, I wasn't here. I wasn't born, either. So yeah. Best Local Rock Songs (of the '70s) Ever.