So, do y’all like Portland, Ore., indie outfit Blitzen Trapper? Scene contributor Stephen "Goose" Trageser sure does. Describing the band as a “benchmark for fans of guitar-based American music,” Trageser explains how the Portlandia purveyors of trap (not really) “fuse power pop, kaleidoscopic psych, lo-fi and country-rock in varying proportions, resulting in a catalog that sounds like the lost works of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Beck Hansen,” in a Critic’s Pick in this week’s paper. The band plays Mercy Lounge on Monday, 8 off 8th style (not really).
Sound like your kind of thing? Sound like something you’d like to check out for free? Then come up with the funniest caption you can conjure to compliment and comment on the confounding image above. Be sure to include your email address in the appropriate field — we won't publish it, but we'll need it in order to contact our winner, which we’ll select at Monday afternoon at 3 p.m. OK, go!
Update: We have our winner. Thanks for playing!
Coming at your ear pieces, it's the Crofton Crew's tips for watching asses in the grocery store. It's Episode 145 of The Chris Crofton Show. Catch it after the jump.
Little Billy Samuels’ head was bouncing back and forth between the fists of Taz and Tater, his tormenters. Billy, an otherwise inconspicuous youngster, seemed to have the kind of skull that drew fists the way metal is drawn to a magnet. His face was the flame and boots were the moths. His body was Paula Abdul and the beatings were MC Skat Kat. He got beat up a lot, is what I’m saying.
“C-c-c-cut it out, yous guys!” Billy managed to cry without cleaving his tongue in twain. “I ain’t done nuttin’!”
“We hate you because you are different!” the bullies cried in disconcerting unison, the way a heavy-handed short story from the 1950s would do to symbolize Communism. “You are gay or we think you are gay, or you are fa,t or you wear too much green, or you are poor or black or any of the other reasons bullies do their bullying!” said the future morning-show DJs.
Chancellor Warhol Listening Party
I’ll be honest. When I first heard the listening party for Chancellor Warhol’s new album would be held in the Adventure Science Center's Sudekum Planetarium, I expected some sort of swanked-out reception area with massive speakers and tasty finger foods. I arrived at the premiere of Paris Is Burning last Thursday evening, however, to find that the listening party was actually being held in the planetarium.
I get it if you don’t fully understand the gravity of what I’m saying. Because until you’ve actually been to a listening party in a planetarium, it might not occur to you that it’s actually one of the most brilliant ideas ever. We were inside a giant dome with surround-sound speakers, blanketed by darkness, as a dazzling light show, synchronized to music, ensued around us. I’m talking stars, galaxies and geometric shapes. It was kind of intense.
Witty, cash-strapped Cream readers with excellent taste in music and nothing to do tomorrow night are in luck, as we’ve got a pair of Robyn Hitchcock tickets to give away to whomever can come up with what we deem the funniest caption to the inexplicable image above. The uber-literate English punk troubadour and former Soft Boys frontman — who was been recording here in town in recent weeks — does his thing at Mercy Lounge tomorrow night.
If you’ve ever seen Robyn Hitchcock before, you know he’s ever the dry, quick-witted quipster when it comes to side-splitting stage banter — see if you channel some of that inspiration here, or rather, in the comments section. Be sure to include your email address in the appropriate field — we won't publish it, but we'll need it in order to contact our winner, which we’ll select at tomorrow at 3 p.m. OK, go!
Update: We have our winner. Thanks for playing!
Don your flared white linen pants and Gucci loafers, roll up a big old coffee blunt and speedball your way into The Chris Crofton Show. It's Episode 144, and you can hear it after the jump.
Suddenly, Steven was thinking about his children.
The father of four had been idly scrolling through his phone when he came across a contact labeled “LIVV.” For a second he considered correcting the typo, but soon decided that there was no point. This contact hadn’t rung him in ages, nor had any of the others. A grotesque life of self-centered hedonism had led him here, alone, in the booth of a diner in a city that meant nothing to him. Steven Tyler, 65 years old, had never even seen his grandchild.
L’Orange is one of my favorite producers in Nashville. His November 2012 release, The Mad Writer — a frenzied yet mellow collection of dark, jazzy hip-hop — was one of the most memorable records of the year. L’Orange has ridden the acclaim of The Mad Writer for much of 2013. But now it appears he’s back with a whole new set of offerings.
A couple weeks ago, the North Carolina native dropped the visuals for “The Quiet Room,” the second official video from his last album. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen any of L’Orange’s music videos, but they’re works of art in and of themselves. Shortly after premiering “The Quiet Room,” L'Orange posted a link to his “Femme Fatale” music video, along with a teaser promising a new album announcement. If you’ve never seen the “Femme Fatale” video, do yourself a favor and take a minute-and-a-half intermission from reading this column to watch above. Resume after your mind has been officially blown.
You had to write the Declaration of Independence 12 times to make a rap record in 1988. Speaking of which, did you know that Thomas Jefferson had a reverse mortgage? Just ask Fred Thompson, or find that shit out with The Chris Crofton Show. It's Episode 143. Hear it after the jump.
well fuck you anon! Go and Catch fire!
The guitar is a custom made Gretsch he used on the Raconteurs tours...sweet. I couldn't…
Sometimes I think snowman69 makes good points. But I think he's way off the mark…
You obviously don't have a clue what touring is actually like snowman69. We all know…