From the Department of Low Hanging Fruit: Looking to have a good, drunken time getting sad? Then mark your calendars for July 25. That’s when ’90s hip-hop pariahs Vanilla Ice and Coolio are set to perform at Nashville’s Tin Roof in Midtown for “John Mayer’s Dirty Thirty Birthday Bash.” (Certainly this can't be the same John Mayer as the airy voiced, Stevie Ray Vaughan-aping singer with the racist dick — he’s 36.)
Aside from Juggalos (whoop whoop!), are there actually earnest Vanilla Ice fans out there? Are there folks out there who can make a case that Ice’s Cypress Hill-inspired weed-rap record Mind Blowin’ is actually a lost classic that never got a fair shot? In the entire world, is there one defender of Ice’s 1998 nu-metal non-starter Hard to Swallow? Is there at least one person in the world who’s listened to Ice’s 2011 long-player W.T.F. (Wisdom, Tenacity and Focus), all 16 tracks of it, in its entirety? Or is Ice’s entire working career based on public appearances as a gawked-at novelty act? A walking punch line without a sense of humor.
Same goes for former fantastic voyager Coolio. Has he also spent the past decade-and-a-half of his life living in a D-lister’s has-been perdition, and not a gangsta’s paradise? Or are there dead-serious Coolio die-hards who turn up to his gigs hoping to hear deep cuts off the rapper’s 2009 disc From the Bottom 2 the Top?
Anyway, for interested Coolio and Ice gawkers and fans alike, here’s the Facebook event page for this sure-to-be-sad shindig. And now, for your enjoyment, let's G-O and look at some highlights from Vanilla Ice's classic 1991 film Cool as Ice after the jump.