Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Spurgeon's General Warning: Graduate

Posted By on Tue, May 13, 2014 at 11:08 AM

I did not attend my own college graduation, but last weekend I drove up to glamorous Clarksville, Tenn., to attend my little sister’s from Austin Peay State University. The gym was muggy, the ceremony was overlong, and there were so many other women with her first name that the family zoned out and nearly missed her turn, but proud of her we are. Afterwards, I celebrated by getting medium-tipsy on sangria at a LongHorn Steakhouse to the point where I texted my grandma the word “butts” from across the table. Then everyone talked about various times in our lives where we have seen bears in the wild.

Here are songs about graduations.

Third Eye Blind, “Graduate”

Here is a performance of Third Eye Blind from the 1997 American Music Awards. At least, that’s what the video says. I’m pretty sure this must be the 1998 AMAs, because this song wasn’t even released as a single until late 1997, and the awards were, at that time, held in January. Anyway, they didn't win (’97 winners were Smashing Pumpkins, 1998 winners were Bush).

Thus concludes the 20 minutes of my one human life that I spent trying to confirm what year Third Eye Blind played "Graduation" at the American Music Awards.

Baz Luhrmann, “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”

Speaking of the late ‘90s, Jesus Christ. Can’t wait until I’m an old woman; I’ll gather my grandkids around and tell them the tale of when camp filmmaker Baz Luhrmann threw some shitty beats over a column from the Chicago Tribune (the author of that column has a Pultizer now, BTW???) and it got famous and CHRIS ROCK MADE A PARODY VERSION, and then a couple years later 9/11 happened.

Vitamin C, "Graduation (Friends Forever)"

The people who liked this song upon its release are no longer friends with the people they knew in 2000.

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