Thursday, March 20, 2014

Kurt Cobain Still Dead

Posted By on Thu, Mar 20, 2014 at 4:20 PM

Much like Generalissimo Francisco Franco, Kurt Cobain is still dead. Conveniently hovering around the 20-year anniversary of the singer's death, Seattle police "reexamined" Cobain's suicide by developing some musty, dusty old rolls of film (where, CVS?) that were taken at the scene. The Internet, as it is wont to do, took news station KIRO's reporting of this fact (in no way timed to elicit maximum publicity for a Seattle pop cultural event) and ran with it, conflating "reexamined" with "reopening" and getting all nerd-boner-stoked at the imaginary prospect of bringing Cobain's non-murderer to justice.

The world turns. The sun sets. People live and people die. 'Twas ever thus.

Here are some things that have happened since April 5, 1994:

* The writing, publication, filming and cinematic release of the Harry Potter saga
* Radiohead from The Bends onward
* The O.J. Simpson trial
* 9/11
* The rebirth of irony after it was killed by 9/11
* Friends
* Jay-Z (And, Editor's Note, "Jay-Z" becoming "Jay Z")
* The Internet, basically
* Kids born the day of Cobain's death legally buying cigarettes for almost two years
* Fox News

Share two decades of YOUR memories in the comments!!!

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