Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Craigslist Poster Offers Fully Loaded Recording Studio for Your 'Cool Car'

Posted By on Tue, Jan 14, 2014 at 3:43 PM

As a general rule, at least in the current economic climate of the music industry, if you want a career that will one day afford you vintage hot rods the likes of a late ’60s Pontiac Firebird or an old-school Dodge Charger, don’t pursue audio engineering.

Judging by this rather outlandish and, frankly, unbelievably audacious gem scraped from the Nashville Craigslist for sale/wanted classifieds, an auto-obsessed audiophile claiming to be an employee of Chicago’s Black Lion Studio is learning that lesson the hard way. The poster is offering to barter a “very complete” 24-track studio in exchange for a “cool classic car, muscle car or some other kind of very unique automobile.”

Exactly how cool or unique, you ask? Getting extremely specific, and swinging for the fences while he/she is at it, the poster ambitiously laundry lists his/her desired fleet of classic LBJ- and Nixon-era roadsters straight from a salivating gearhead’s rubber-burning stroke fantasy.

That list includes (“but [is] not limited to”) a DeTomaso Pantera; a Delorean DMC12; or a Chevy Camaro (late ’60s), Chevelle (‘60s or ’70s) or Malibu (‘60s or ’70s); or a Dodge Charger or Challenger. A Plymouth Barracuda will also do. Same goes for a ’60s or ’70s era Mustang Fastback or a Pontiac Firebird. This anonymous lover of the smell of Mopar in the morning might even settle for a Jeep Wrangler, but only if it’s in “excellent condition.” And “of course, Italian exotics are always welcome” as well. You get the picture.

Consistently sparing no detail, the poster gets even more specific when itemizing the extensive array of (I think) high-end recording gadgets, rack gear, monitors, microphones, power amps, effects boxes and “other stuff” that he/she guestimates is worth a combined $30K. It’s all super fuckin’ pro shit because, you know — “I am looking for a car that is not a crappy rust bucket!” And it could all be yours if you find yourself so inclined to cease satisfying your inner Steve McQueen in favor of finding your inner Steve Albini.

So, any takers?

Well then there are a couple things you should know. First off, the car in question “MUST HAVE A CLEAN TITLE,” because, you know, DUH. Second, most of the up-for-barter recording gear is either modified “or at least maintained.” Also, just because the poster’s motor fetish mostly focuses on whips from the ’60s or’ 70s, that doesn’t leave you S.O.L. if you’ve got a slightly less-vintage auto to offer, so long as it’s not a P.O.S.

“Probably not very interested in much from the 80's or later,” the poster writes, “but if you have something really cool, it never hurts to ask. Worst I can say is no.”

Really, because I can’t help but picture the poster sitting in his/her bedroom, dressed up like speed racer (helmet, goggles and all) and hard-gripping an imaginary steering wheel and stroking an imaginary gear shift while uttering loud, 24-tracks-in-stereo-worthy “vroom vrooooms” and “beep beeeeeps,” which are all worse than saying a simple “no.”

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