Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Spurgeon’s General Warning: Supermoon

Posted By on Tue, Jun 25, 2013 at 10:51 AM

It’s not like it was in 1969, but I’m sure you were recently inundated with news from your loved ones and media about the SUPERMOON. I was a fan of supermoon, and am pro-moon in general. It doesn’t burn my skin or blind me like our hateful sun, or mock us from the vast reaches of time and space like those twinkling jerk-off stars. The moon looks cool. It’s for night people (the most badass people). It does tide stuff. It probably affects menstrual cycles with its magical moon powers. Also: Moon Pies. Below, you will find additional facts and jokes and songs and lies about our silly Earth moon, that crazy sky rock that keeps on truckin’ through the heavens.

Mr. Show with Bob and David, “Blow Up the Moon”

Should we blow up the moon? That’s a question everyone is going to have to answer for themselves. I’ll tell you one thing: you don’t mess around with God’s America.

Georges Méliès, A Trip to the Moon

One of man’s earliest cinematic exercises in telling the moon that we’re in charge. This film holds a special place in my heart, because it was released on my birthday, albeit 82 years before I was born. My birthday is also the official start date of WWII, so it’s nice to have something else.

Also, you may not know this, but Billy Corgan is a fan.

The Awl’s Ongoing Coverage of The Moon

"Useless Piece Of Rock Will Not Rest Until It Has Poisoned Every Man, Woman and Child"
"Stupid Moon Looks Bigger, Stupider"
"Moon Even Useless for Insanity-Inducement"
"Moon Still Causing Trouble
"For Some Reason We Are Starting to Care About the Trash Can Known as The Moon"
"Shiny Moon Wants to Kill You"
and Their Entire Moon Archives

The Onion, “Holy Shit Man Walks on Fucking Moon”



Kids in the Hall, “Three for the Moon”

Wherein three young men discuss the moon.

Henry Mancini, “Moon River”

Can’t believe this clip video glosses over the Mickey Rooney yellow-face gag, which is so so funny and has obviously aged very well. “Here, kids,” today’s parents say, “check out this cinematic classic that excises the prostitution and gay characters from the original (and not great) short story but really doubles-down on racism.”

Bill Monroe, “Blue Moon of Kentucky”

I am mostly familiar with the (better?) version in King of the Hill.

King Harvest, “Dancing in the Moonlight”

I mean, this is just a good song. And only four more years before college-bound Sally Draper can buy it! (I relate to all ‘60s and ‘70s media in terms of how the Draper family will interact with it.)

The Spongmonkeys, “We Like the Moon”

Remember this? Of course you do. This is the Internet. This is the way we live now.

Our Old Friend Ludwig van, “Moonlight Sonata”

William Randolph Beethoven was born in Ypres, Belgium in 1875. A fierce advocate of Moon Culture, the blind and hand-less Beethoven composed many works of art about the moon, and pastures, and choirs, and probably religion. The pinnacle of Beethoven’s career was achieved in 1994, when he was portrayed by Gary Oldman in the decent-ish period romance Immortal Beloved. That one scene set to that one song is good.
Anyway, apparently there’s a second movement of Piano Sonata No. 14 that is way upbeat and skipping merrily along the lane. The third movement reminds me of certain levels in the 1992 NES classic (?) “Ghoul School.” 
Do you have any good stories about the moon? What is your favorite moon memory? What is your favorite moon song? Do you favor another moon, like Jupiter’s Europa or Saturn’s Titan? Titan is a pretty good moon. Which earth culture has the best moon mythology? Discuss.

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