Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Spurgeon's General Warning: Wonderful Christmastime

Posted By on Wed, Dec 19, 2012 at 12:11 PM

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What exactly is everyone's problem with this song? I know the holidays can be stressful, and I know it's cool to hate everything (I hate most things myself), but "Wonderful Christmastime" gets way more crap than it's ever deserved. But does anyone ever argue that they, like, expected more from one of the greatest pop songwriters to have ever lived? No, the arguments against it are far more petty, and easily refuted:

"The synth sucks."

Does it? Have you considered the possibility that you suck?


"It's corny and trite."

I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that a holiday whose popular mythology includes snowbound elves building toys for children wasn't supposed to be corny. Even the religious version of Christmas features a happy family hanging out with a donkey. Christmas is a cheese-ball holiday, and you're allowed — no, encouraged — to enjoy corny, trite good-time smile-givers. Paul McCartney included.


"John Lennon's Christmas song is better."

George Harrison never gets any love here, but whatever, that's not your argument. At the absolute very least, McCartney does not refer to any children as "yellow and red ones" in his Christmas song. Going further, John Lennon wrote a Christmas song blaming all the world's problems on you, personally: "So this is Christmas / And what have you done?" Oh, not written a protest song, I guess? And maybe you haven't noticed, but war is not over. I guess no one wants it enough. McCartney: "The party's on / The spirit's up / We're here tonight / And that's enough." How can you even argue with that? You can't.

Look, I don't know your life, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I bet you've spent WAY more holiday hours clocked in at parties than you have down at the soup kitchen. You're actually living "Wonderful Christmastime," as much as you hate to admit it. I'm not ashamed to admit it. That song is awesome. More parties!

MERRY XMAS EVERYBODY

BONUS SLADE

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