In a perfect world, publicists would send us only zips, streams, the occasional thumb drive and — when it's something we're truly excited about — vinyl. Alas, my colleague/office-mate Adam Gold and I are currently walled in by pillars of compact discs we never asked for, many of them multiples. They ceaselessly pour in via snail mail from all across the globe, piling higher and higher, forever threatening to crush us. So anyway, why not make fun of how ugly some of these things are? It's a slow news day, so here's some of the worst-looking CDs we've received recently.
When your record is named America, America and features heartfelt renditions of patriotic standards ... well, subtlety and artfulness aren't to be expected. Bebe Winans comes off as good-natured and genuinely into America — not like some senselessly jingoistic douche or something — and I think that's reflected in his stars-and-stripes-sponge-painted Hanes T. Go for it, Bebe. You seem like a solid dude. A for loving America, C for effort.
Oh, I see. Jerrod Niemann's record is called Free the Music, and he's, like, opening some doors in order to set the music free. Literally. Thank you, great liberator. Anyway, someone had to cut paths around all those pictures of trombones and tubas and so forth, so well done to that young graphic-design student.
Seriously, get in there and have a look at this thing. Far be it from me to question Papa Roach frontman Jacoby Shaddix's genius, but I feel like maybe there are a few too many ideas going on with The Connection's digital skull explosion tentacle spark plug clusterfuck. I probably just don't "get it" though, man.
The only thing lazier than Uncle Kracker's Midnight Special album cover and title is my decision not to comment on it whatsoever.
You guys seen anything worse lately?