Generally speaking, mascots have the power to freak me out. Sure, they're androgynous, harmless, googly-eyed friends to all. But beneath that felt-and-foam exterior, you know there's some sweaty little guy swearing under his breath every time a kid tugs his tail or stomps on his cartoonishly exaggerated sneaker. *
The folks behind the CMA Awards have just unveiled their new mascot, Eddy A. Ward. "A. Ward." Geddit? Here's a snippet from the press release:
CMA AWARDS MASCOT UNVEILED
NASHVILLE — The new CMA Awards mascot, Eddy A. Ward, made his debut appearance yesterday, Sept. 17, during a party celebrating Luke Bryan’s No.1 single “Drunk on You” written by Rodney Clawson, Chris Tompkins and Josh Kear. Bryan has two 2012 CMA Award nominations for Male Vocalist of the Year and Album of the Year for tailgates & tanlines. “The 46th Annual CMA Awards” will be hosted for the fifth time by Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood and broadcast live from the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, Thursday, Nov. 1 (8:00-11:00 PM/ET) on the ABC Television Network.
When I asked my Cream Team colleagues what they think Eddy looks like, Ashley Spurgeon pointed out that he resembles the Starfleet Command logo. Steve Haruch then noted that the CMA award "is basically the same shape as the Starfleet logo, just a little narrower and taller." Then contributor Sean L. Maloney said he thinks Eddy looks like ... well, I'll spare you the exact terminology, but it's something that rhymes with "gut slug."
* I know this because I have personally acted as a mascot on two separate occasions.