Thursday, August 9, 2012

Spurgeon's General Warning: MARS!

Posted by on Thu, Aug 9, 2012 at 2:40 PM

mars_rocks.JPG
Space: the final place! As you probably already know, NASA nerds shot off a fancy new rover to the Red Planet, and managed to successfully land the darn thing. The rover Curiosity (adorable!) is going to take lots of pictures and perform all this science I don’t understand, even though it’s just my job five days a week. Did anyone tell the NASA nerds that Mars is named after the Roman god of war, and therefore likely to be teeming with creatures prone to violence? Mythology nerds, dropping the ball once again. In any case, I curated a playlist for Curiosity's inevitable alien destruction, please check it out below.

Queen, “Don’t Stop Me Now”

The pertinent lyric is “I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars,” even though I’m pretty sure the song is about indiscriminate backstage sex. No matter! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: When I die, throw my ashes into some fireworks and shoot them off in a glorious display with this song playing triumphantly. Freddie gets it.


David Bowie, “Life on Mars”

It’s been the go-to background noise for every report about the rover, as was Bowie’s plan all along.


T. Rex, “Ballrooms of Mars”

The Slider is the best T. Rex album, and “Metal Guru” is the best song on that album. But it doesn’t reference Mars, so ...


The Misfits, “I Turned into a Martian”

Included to prove I am aware of music outside of the ‘70s. This song is from the ’80s.


Lil’ Wayne featuring Bruno Mars, “Mirror”

“Bruno Pluto” is a much more amusing stage name, Pete Hernandez, but it’s your life to live, not mine.

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